neuschwanstein

party girl

2012-01-22T15:32:00.002+08:00

we found love in a hopeless place

I am still hung over from last friday night!! it was a serious TGIF!! im sober as hell but i just cant stop dancing! thats the reason why i really avoid clubs/bars that doesnt have seats and tables. because im just gonna dance my ass off the whole entire time! like seriously. i was a bad ass bitch on the dance floor! LOLz.

it also helped that Panda was there and he made sure im well taken cared off. aww shucks. pandabear is sweet! lolz. his friend though was concerned about me, because i just kept chugging the beer and dance with mah hands in the ayer!! SOWEE, so much for being the nice gf that i was. hehehe.

it was so much fun that im more hungover from the dancing rather than from the alcohol. i danced with my friends, i danced with other people, i danced with panda, danced while i talked to people, danced while drinking and danced while dancing! GAWD!! i think i danced for a good 3 hrs straight, because by 5am i remembered panda was with me and i was hugging him from behind and he was lying on top of me... hmmm... we might have OP'ed some people unintentionally. sorry. :)

but still i wanna repeat that dance off! i swear! next friday/saturday its ON!

partygirl is back!

here's to 2011

2012-01-01T00:55:00.000+08:00

yep. this is my last blog entry for 2011. hoping i actually finish this on time. hoo kay.

2011 started out as crap for me. one ginormous crap. work was and still is hella crazy, lost a lot of friends and coworkers in this year. lost parts of my sanity as well, but rediscovered some parts of me that i thought was lost forever.

rekindled friendships with people and finally went ahead and face my fears. ;P

ill just follow the old adage: a picture is worth a thousand words. soooo, my 2011 in pictures!

in no particular order

overwhelming

2011-12-25T03:30:00.000+08:00

This overwhelming feeling swallowed me last friday. I dunno why I let myself be victimized by this annoying feeling. It consumed me for the greater part of thursday and friday. My twitter account is a testament to that. Maybe i should stop fighting with myself. Really, its unhealthy and it only brings out nothing but negative delusions and emotions that should never be there.

I should look into the brighter side of things, it hasnt mentioned and done something that would make me question about everything for the past months... I think thats a good sign... is it?

I just cant do another painful year. I just cant. my walls are slowly crumbling and i kept on putting cement on every crack, trying to fill out the voids that i know if i let it be, would be catastrophic for me...

i just want to stop.

wedding jitters

2011-12-04T20:54:00.001+08:00

the reason why i dont have anything to blog about is because everything on my plate right now is all about relationship status. and frankly, i am tired of it, over it and done with it. and unlike MO Twister, im not going to record my emotions and hearts on any form of media for the whole goddamn world to see. even if the whole goddamn world does not care about me. because what i feel right this moment, is a ginormous piece of crap that i would not like to revisit when im a cranky old lady.

anyhoo... my friend ica will finally get hitched by her high school/college bf paul!! woo hoo!! im suppose to be one of the host for their wedding, well i still am... hehehe... im mostly afraid that my FULL BLOWN JOLOGS mode will be on full blast! ahahhaha!!

and i havent even started buying gifts for them and they will be getting married on saturday! good job me! atleast i bought a dress to wear to their wedding, and may also add that i dont know where the fuck is?! i mean i know its in the far away kingdom of Antipolo, i could always take a cab to go there but hell!! how will i go home? what if it ends way past midnight?!! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! the horror! chos!

cinderella lang ang peg ko! PAK!

ahahaha! ill just cross the bridge when i freaking get there, im resourceful, always have. i will survive this. its a freaking wedding, and its not even mine so shouldnt freak out like an OC OC bridezilla!

ahahaha!!

weddings... aahhhh never good with weddings. although... i can always picture myself getting married and having a ceremony.

never really wanted a big wedding, whether i can afford it or not, i always wanted to have a small wedding. with a max of 50 guest. thats it. 25 for me, 25 for my unlucky groom... sorry future groomy (whoever you are) your future wife doesnt like people and crowd! bleeeehhhh!!

BITTER

2011-11-23T16:19:00.001+08:00

bitterness can really change a person... ive never met a more bitter person than you.

ive been accused of a lot of things but not THAT. never THAT. you are just too bitter to accept that I will never EVER be yours...

i pity you... you cannot move on from your sad life. instead of be happy for me, because i thought we were and still are. i should never have trusted you again.

i hope in time you realise how fucked you are, and your words, actually hurt.

because yeah, i do take it personal. I TAKE IT VERY PERSONAL.

2011-11-20T17:08:00.001+08:00

do you know the feeling of loving someone but not IN LOVE with them?? yeah... thats the exact same feeling i have for him right now.

i know now that we are really destined to be friends, better, friend for life.

i know basing from my previous post, that i have no right in judging the things i feel right now. but im not using my heart right now, im using my brain. and my mind says to stop thinking about things too much. stop planning too much and stop over analyzing things too much.

so thats just what ill do. ill just stop.

the damage goods.

2011-11-19T16:59:00.001+08:00

when i was younger i used to think that fairy tales come true and everyone has their own prince charming. he may not be in a shining armour, but atleast he will pick you up and show you what love is all about.

i dreamed of meeting the one and praying that he would soon come and sweep me off my feet. that he wont hurt me and will never leave me. well, he did come, swept me off my feet so i can land on the ground with my butt hurting.

after that incident in my life, i think i never "recovered". and up until now the guys i ended up having a relationship with are paying for it.

dont get me wrong, im way past that stage now. i dont feel the pain and the hurt anymore, i dont even hate the person. but something did change. there's a part of me that died that day when i realised that he was not the one.

i did a complete 180 when that happened. i was never the same. i couldnt even recall how i was before. all i remember is that i was never the bitch that i am now.

i try my very best to put the pieces back together. to find my self. the me that was endearing and sweet and careful. but im struggling. .

im just going through the motions. waiting and waiting until i reach a point where saturation will kill the thrill within me and this, whatever i have, will die. and whenever this happens, one of us ended up being
damaged in the process.

i need to stop looking for things that would hurt other people. that would make me lose them and myself again. being with me is a vicious cycle.

so i need to stop.

i need to go figure myself first. then maybe, just maybe... i might get back to the way i truly am.

happy birthday LOLO

2011-11-12T16:07:00.002+08:00

i never want to think of the negative. all i want to think about is the positive. even just for today.

all i want to think about is my lolo. mi abuelo.

he is the man, apart from my father, that i will ever love unconditionally and eternally. He was the pillar of my strength, an unwavering force of nature that continues to inspire and push me to my limits.

He was the love that words cannot explain, and I am simply at a loss.

To my dearest Lolo, may you continue to rest in peace and love me from afar.

rumour blogging

2011-11-09T09:20:00.003+08:00

i totally forgot how fun and therapeutic blogging is... i think this is the reason why the stress is getting on to me, i dont have an outlet where i can just pour my heart and soul into without the fear of being judged. so now. since i have pinkberry (laptop) with me, i will try, as best that i can to blog.

so blogging starts now...

so the story goes of the boy meets girl and the girl meets boy.

i never really want to blog about my personal life anymore because i had a "staker-scare" moment, but this call for a a blog moment. because if i will not let this loose, i will die. (mentally)

so this started with rumours. the rumour that i have a bf in the office spread like wildfire. at first it annoyed the hell outta me. i mean, wtf?? dont you guys have better things to do than to gossip about me?? and why is my lovelife all of the sudden the talk of the town? and why all of sudden everybody started caring about it??

precisely the point of me not wanting an OFFICE ROMANCE.

so for the past weeks... every one bugged me about whether i or not i have a relationship with M. scratch that a romantic relationship with M. how bad is the bugging you ask? well imagine me, walking towards my station at the start of my shift and everyone that passed by my station asked: kayo na ba ni M?

WTF. that happened for atleast a solid 2 weeks straight.

then it died down because whenever i get asked of the question, i always ALWAYS answer: ASK HIM. same goes for him.

now comes the good part... (the brit in me is talking)

it started with me putting on HEARTBREAK WARFARE as my status in BBM. (i swear to gawd sometimes BBM is eevil) then M followed suit. i didnt know that he did so i got confused/surprised when he BBMed me saying that people were texting him asking if he had an LQ or does he have a gf or if we fought. THE FUCK?!! (he is not in the office btw hes out sick with sore eyes)

i always had that status on BBM if not this icon (-__-).

sooo moving along, since some of my "kids" are also my BB, buddies they were asking if we broke up. greaaaaattttt. then everyone started asking me too if we broke up, if we have LQ or not.

then we talked about it and said that since they want a show, lets give them a goddamn show.

he even put on fb that heartbreak warfare is a song by john mayer and that we both liked it. and we are not fighting. we even made a joke about it. the next i know. everyone's taking sides already.

mostly they're for me, saying that I deserve better, he's not a good match for me, he's a playboy, he's this and that and this and that.

someone even came up to me and said that he/she/it never really see us lasting longer than 2 months, because he's not a good catch. he'll just break my heart and leave me... blah blah blah

even the managers and people that i dont normally associate with GOSSIPING and CARING about me, even give their 2 cents. i wont go into details about what they are saying about him, me, or us as it is not important. (and i dont wanna dwell on the negative)

and with all this currently in loop in my life right now... i am OVERWHELMED + STRESSED at the same time.

i am OVERWHELMED because i never knew that they all love me that much. i never thought that i was really their baby in the office. they all feel for me. and they all said the same thing, one more fuck up from him and he'll be dead. ahahaha! i never thought that they care for me that much and they dont want to see me get hurt. seriously, i LOVE you guys to bits, even when sometimes your making my life miserable.

IM STRESSED because, this wont die down! and im not expecting this to die down, because he has yet to return to work and i am pretty suuurrre that when he comes back, its gonna be bigger, bolder and nastier than ever.

for a ruse, this sure is a fucked up outcome. i even said to the people that its not his fault. that im the one to blame. that i was the cause of all the shits that's been happening to us just so they would stop all of their threats against him.

oh my. FML. sorry M. dont worry, as i told you on BBM if i have a sudden bout of hysteria ill just stop talking to you to avoid starting a warpath against you. :) i will do that, whether you like it or not.

sooooo... yes i finally let it all out. i hope i can breathe a little better...

skin care prducts

2011-04-29T13:30:00.002+08:00

these are just some of the products i use, i apologise if i didnt indicate all of them, its because most of the products that i use is in another closet in another city.

skin care

2011-04-29T00:23:00.002+08:00

When I was younger, I always hear all the women in my family saying my Lola has the most beautiful skin ever. They say even when she was bed ridden, she never forgot her skin ritual. And that I was the lucky one, to inherit her great skin. I guess they were right, why?

Because most of the people I meet would always compliment me because of my skin. When I was younger, i used to get irritated with people pinching my cheeks or touching my face because they say I have great skin. They use to brush my face with their hands and ask my mom if i wash my face with anything.

Though the face harassment happened a lot, im so happy that my face/skin didnt get brutalised. LOL. Growing older, I never had a problem with zits, when puberty hit me. I never worried about oily face, scars, discoloration, pores, etc. My skin as they say is perfect. And I owe all of it to my genes.

Dont get me wrong, im not saying that great skin can only be achieved by having some great genes. Well, let me digress, great skin, yes came from genes and yes, it can also be made possible without the help of "products".

Now that I am older, i dont just rely on my genes, i use products that helps me maintain my skin. So what products do I sue, lets start from the face down.

Daily Regimen Face:

1. To wash my face, I alternate using a Dove Cream Bar Extra Sensitive (as i have the most sensitive skin evaar) and Ponds Facial Scrub. These products are sensitive enough to be used daily.

2. To remove gunk, dirt and makeup, I use ponds cold cream daily and l'oreal make up remover. I love the cold cream as it instantly does the job and the loreal takes care of those, smudge proof and waterproof make up thats hard to remove.

3. To exfoliate, I use the St Ives Apricot scrub. Hands down the best, so i dont use any other product. I exfoliate 4x a week, but it depends on each activity. This is even formulated to be used everyday, depending on the skin you have, I have sensitive skin and I dont scrubbing my face too often.

4. To moisturize during the day, i put on Myra vitamin E moisturizer sunscreen with spf 15. This protects my skin from the sun and it keeps it soft and supple. For night, I smear a think layer of Vaseline (petroleum jelly cream or just plain petroleum jelly) on my face and neck area, and when i wake up, i wash it with water and i feel fresh, plus you can instantly feel the changes on your face.

5. Last but definitely not the least, the best product i use are, water and vitamin E. Yes, I drink gallons and gallons of water to keep me hydrated and vitamin E to help me keep my skin and the rest of my body healthy.

a month of neglect

2011-04-16T10:05:00.004+08:00

i know, im a neglect. ive neglected this blog for a month. ive been too busy and getting caught up with work that i barely have time for blogging. AAAANNNNDDD, im feeling that i should a lot of my time with REAL people instead of REEl people. LOLS. anyways, what happened to me this past month? gonna share it with pictures...

the sister finally graduated from college!

picking strawberries at the field forever...

the super moon happened, wished sailor moon appeared!

miniB's pre-birthday celeb

current obsession nail art

potipot

2011-03-11T12:44:00.003+08:00

this much needed beach escapade jumpstarted my summer fever! i was so glad that the we were able to go there!!!

im still so stoked so ill just post the pics!!

2011-03-04T03:37:00.002+08:00

huwaw. the whole month of feb passed me by and not one blog.

well, honestly nothing good ever came up so i didnt even try to get a new entry goin.

so let try to sum up the good/bad things:

+ skype saved my life

+ potipot

+ the devil is resigning but not without fucking with our pay!!

+ got a new laptop.

+ got a new puppy

+ got my new phone

+ still in good health

+ nephew will be coming

+ friends resigning

+ HPV vaccine

+ whole lotta make up

+ not enough money

+ newly coloured hair

+ wax wax wax

i guess thats it.

oh yeah its summer! so i guess!! BEACH!!

i got protected from HPV

2011-01-23T20:26:00.004+08:00

ive been meaning to blog about this for days, however, im just not feeling well enough. this entry is about the HPV vaccination i had last friday.

I liked the fact that ive finally get 1 out of 5 shots. since i saw the ad of Pia M. for cervical cancer, i knew i wanted to get the shot for me, my sister and my mom. but alas, it was expensivo. so its a good thing that the company im working for, provided 3 out of the 5 shots for free, so i grabbed the opportunity. now, i just have to pay for the last 2 shots.

The thing about this vaccine is, it hurts like hell, well not really but it made me numb. meaning its a very potent drug to knock me out like that. I've been vaccinated before, for various illnesses, like, flu, hepatitis a,b and c etc and i never felt the sting of it. well, they said its a normal occurrence for someone who'd taken a shot, but the thing is, this is the first time that ive experience its side effects. im the one who normally doesnt feel the sting, doesnt get sick, doesnt feel weak after the vaccination. and even if i felt a little weak, i would do it over and over again. as they say, prevention is better than cure. and i'd rather feel a little weak from the vaccine than feel a lot worse from the sickness.

i got protected, you should too.

meet chopper

2011-01-16T23:16:00.003+08:00

i just love my dogs. they bring me joy and relaxation. so 'ere he is, CHOPPER

he is just so cute!

name: chopper

breed: akita inu

age: 1 1/2 mos.

color: brown and black

sex: male

he's dad spade, a pure bred akita inu is our original akita, he has black coat and on his belly, feet and the tip of his tail, its all white.

puss puss

2011-01-15T22:17:00.003+08:00

wearing Wet and Wild Cherry Berry Lipstick and Maybelline Light Berry Lipgloss

me and my red lips. ahahaha! ive been looking for the perfect shade of red lippy since gwen stefani made it her promise to the world that no other color of lipstick will dare touch her lips. and being inlove with the color red helps too. it didnt start that way. i didnt use a glossy or glazed lipstick. i used the ordinary matte lipstick. then i started experimenting on it. i thought, how can i add some fire into this shade, boring ol' red will just not work for me. so i started to combine some, other shades like pink, peach and neutral... didnt work. it actually ended up like a pile of rejected shades. so then, i saw my lipgloss. its actually a bright pink one, and i added it on top of my lippy et viola! perfecto!

the mother didnt like it though, she said its too red. uhm, mom, nothing is too red, not even blood. so ladies, i think i will stick with this shade up until my next order of lipstick arrive and i get to play with it.

ciao'

2011

2011-01-01T16:03:00.005+08:00

i think everyone is still in love with fireworks that we take pictures of it. no matter how silly we make look.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-25T15:13:00.001+08:00

baby its cold outside...

2010-12-25T01:12:00.004+08:00

wheww!! merry christmas everyone in the virtual world and whoever cares for me here! LOL!

Its my favorite holiday and i love it. AND. i love that i was able to spend it at home with my loved ones and not at work where im usually miserable and envious of people who can spend holidays together!!

so lets start my day!

mother and father and sister picked me up at werk earlier in manila! whooo!! im so ecstatic about this that i didnt even feel that i havent slept for 17 hrs straight! so we went to SM (the biggest mall in the phils) to do some last minute shopping. as you know, im in a very hectic schedule and i wasnt able to shop for anything. so i bought my sis a handbag, i gave dad cash and i gave mom everything she wants in the grocery store.

we had fun! and i finally bought a camera! a new camera!! wow! i dont usually care about the make, and model, what i care about is its functionality. and lately color. because all my stuff is pink now, from my ipod to laptop and cp and now my camera. I decided to go with a sony cam, as that is what ive been using for the longest time and im pretty proficient about it. wonderin' whats my cam? here it is:

so after all that, we went home and before we actually hit the house, we went to royal duty free, as we had to buy some last minute items that we still lack for our noche buena. and also fillings for the loot bags that im giving away for later.

and all in all. it was fun!! till next christmas!!

soulmates - natasha bedingfield

2010-12-12T13:10:00.000+08:00

its shaky at werk but im staying positive. hope all of us will emerge with scracthes and bruises but still in one piece.

im so envious of P right now, he got out.

***

hating on them right now. all the fucking promises are being broken left and right. and i say fine. you win. im done. dont ask me for help if ever you need it. as you can see, im not like my MOM or DAD. i can actually take it all and be uncaring. im sorry i love my nephew but i am on a thread.

test my patience. try me.

***

i have never left the house since i got back. and i have never seen my relatives since i stepped outta door.

***

ive been eating nothing but chips and chocs because im too lazy to cook. well i did chook my own version of fried rice for bfast.

its the most wonderful time of the year

2010-12-05T19:26:00.005+08:00

hey its christmas!

well, almost. time flies so fast, i better fasten my seatbelt or else i may crash.

so... what happened to me.

i dunno. my twitter acct has been like the buzz/paparazzi/showbiz central thing due to a lot of issues in our lives. some are made up, some are real with sources. its actually fun, since all of my friends are getting the hang of it.

anyways, oh yeah, the campaign in FB, wherein you change your profile pic to that of a cartoon character to show your support on STOPPING CHILD ABUSE.

i changed it to JEM!

i for one supports that cause a billion times. I hate seeing children abused. even if they're mean or rude. I mean, they are CHILDREN. their judgement is impaired and not yet FULLY DEVELOPED. unlike us, i know thats not a reason for kids being mean, but think about it, were you mean when you were a kid? all you think about is being cool right? and i dunno, but bad = cool in our world. right?

moving on, as we are deviating for our topic, and yes, this is just one of the topics i am wiling to discuss and bore your brains out. CHILD ABUSE. i have a not so scientific yet maybe already discovered theory about child abuse. here it is: you ABUSE a CHILD because a.) they are small and afraid of you b.) its your way of AUTHORITY c.) your suppress when you were younger so you take it out on a child which totally means your a fucking basketcase d.) worst, you get sexual pleasure when seeing a child in pain which makes you a disgusting vile pig pedophile with a satanic sadist fanaticism. which would make me HUNT you down.

like srsly.

next!!

before we get too serious, let us make our DREAM CHRISTMAS GIFTS!

woot! woot!

why'd i say dream, because i know for a FACT. that i will recieve none of the things i actually put here and will end up, saving for it and buying it myself.

yes, its the hello kitty doc martens. I dont normally like Hello Kitty, but cmon! its black and pink with a bow!

TUBE SOCKS!! i love love love tube socks! especially in rainbow colors!

hello! didnt you get it yet, bows! I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM!

clear dome umbrella with yellow border or PINK border i wouldnt mind

again, BOW! i tell ya' im obsessed! this is i really REALLY REALLY LOVE this, this will totally match my minnie mouse dress!

CRAYONS!! i am addicted to them!

LADY GAGA hair bow! i want a pink one and a brown one to match my herr!

so that's it, i only have simple wishes, not too extravagant. gadgets are not really a necessity for me, but still very girly.

hey soul sister

2010-11-27T08:45:00.004+08:00

(eastwood christmas yr.2009) last picture (yes i blend with the light)

hey soul sister by train and teenage dream by darren criss and the warblers is in loop in my pc.

im so excited (well not really) that christmas is coming. though i dont have money, its fine because my nephew will be spending christmas with us here.

the real reason i wanted to blog is to have a definite list of christmas gift to myself and family. you see, whenever i plan for any gift, if i dont put in writing (any form of writing) i will deviate from it or will think of a different gift while im shopping.

so the list will be:

me: new camera. 9the samsung ive been eye-ing) i forgot the model name as i lost the brochure but i know it when i see it

dad: starbucks mug w/their christmas blend and MONEY so he can buy whatever it is that he wants for himself.

mom: honestly and not being boastful or anything here, mom has everything she has and needs. kitchenware??? she doesnt even get to use some of her utensils, bowls, pans... i'll prolly give her a full day at the spa so she can relax.

nephew: i bought way too many stuff for him already and its not even christmas. prolly an educational book and another toy.

brother: i know excatly what my brother need, tshirts. tons and tons of it. since he became a dad, he has never bought anything for himself, because everything is for the baby. so im gonna give him 6 shirts this xmas. the ones that has cool logos.

sister: sis has more choices. i know her type and likes, its usually what i buy. you would be surprise that most of our clothes are the same just in different color and size. she's emulating the older sister ya know. i think i'll buy her a dress.

i'll let you in on a little secret, ive been saving for her grad gift, i dont know what to give her yet, ipod or what?? she's a bit spoiled aint she??

well, shes our bunso and she's the luckiest really, when i was her age, its supposed to be kuya's turn to spoil me, but he cant and he didnt. even with the parents he didnt spoil them. im not blaming him really, because he struggled then and still does. so im actually doing it, since im most able and i can afford to do it... its also some for of payback to my parents who struggled when im college. (coz i was sick then and my medication is costly together with school.) and im glad they're happy.

with brother also, i tend to bend a lot of times with him, especially with the nephew. i once blew my whole savings just to help brother with the hospital bill. but that's okay. whats important is family and my nephew is well and great. besides i have my whole life to live and i will earn it back anyways.

i hope this christmas would be fruitful for all of us. my gift shopping will start next week. wish me luck!

i got a date with the night - yeah yeah yeahs

2010-11-19T12:49:00.002+08:00

honestly, i dunno what to call this entry, so i just type whatever it is that came to my mind.

another change of schedule, for a week. just great right. honestly, i have no qualms on having my schedule changed so drastically, as long as my Rd is 2 days. no split off me. ayheytit.

anyways.

skype. i love you. you get me connected to my bffs wherever we are in the world.

earlier this morning, i spoke with my BFF's bars and nix. bars in the us and nix is in manila. i cried a little because i havent seen bars since she immigrated to the us 8 months ago. she's preggers and she doesnt have us girls to help her or to talk to her like we usually do. she even said, "kelan ba tayo huling nag usap ng ganito?" by ganito she meant rowdy, loud, full of jokes and finishing each others sentences... so when we did video call, it was super fun! she changed a lot since becoming pregnant. her nose is huge! her neck is darker and her tummy is bulging. i asked her to let me see her tummy because apparently her son, Unoh (bitchesso) is doing all sorts of tumbling and thumping in her belly, so there she went and put the camera on her belly and i can see her belly doing a wave. her son is so chismoso!!! and active!! God bless my godson!! yes will be a godmother again.

nix too joined our conversation, so we did a conference. we talked for 4 hours! of course both nix and i are in the phils so we could easily see each other right?? wrong. we barely see each other because of our schedule im in graveyard shift, while she's on normal mode (read: day shift). and our rest days are usually not in sync. and sometimes i spend my rest days sleeping all day. but we do text and call each other up just to say hi and a quick chitchat.

but it's nothing compares to us, all of us talk altogether. and when we talk its like we just saw each other yesterday.

i have found my GFF's. actually. i think, we found each other, since pre-k we're together. so i think this is more of a till death do us part thing.

listening to christmas carols ive DLed.

gives you hell part 2

2010-11-14T06:44:00.002+08:00

im pretty sure that im an evil person. i laugh at your misery, i find it amusing that you feelings are constantly hurt, im basking in your defeated ego and i laugh at your pride (that you so highly stood with).

actually, i think and over and done with you EH. i dont need to feel like im ugly and im incompetent to care all the time. im good at comprising but somehow with you, its always... i dunno... im unfair?? its always been for the past month a whirlwind of PETTY arguments. like i dont text you enough. i dont call you enough, i always fell asleep when were talking, yadda yadda yadda...

alright, and i apologise for those things. but good god EH!! im working nightshift! at daylight im a fucking zombie!!! i try my very best to be alive and interested with no sleep for 13-16 hours. just so i could spend time with you. god give me a fucking break!!!

i gave you the break and space you wanted, i didnt argue with you. because you said that you needed to think were you are going and if its with me. fine. (though in my head i said screw you)

you know what i realised in that time... screw you. youre a fucking deadweight. im carrying a fucking deadweight. youve not only manage to stress me with your whines, you also manage to cause a little rupture in my sanity.

you know what happened when im in no contact with you? im more alive at work, i can finally spend some RnR with my bff pau, whom i havent seen in ages, go to the spa, go to the salon, got my nails did, and finally SLEEP with no interruption.

and now, you want back? you finally realised that you wanted me??

hell will freeze over first before ill do that.

cheers!!

gff + bff's

2010-11-07T03:06:00.003+08:00

it was so nice to see my bff pau! i am so happy, you really cant explain it. we havent seen each other for months or years i think. hay its sooo much fun reminiscing the good ol' days. we even talked about our other bff who is now living in the us. she hasnt come yet since she moved when we we're starting freshman college, so its roughly around 7 years already?? hayss.... so hard to find great girlfriends these days, its soo good to have someone like them to be friends with. no mater the distance and the time that we've been away, when we see each other its all the same. in honor of great girlfriends below are some pictures of the lovely ladies that are taking over my life since pre-k.

im tired of everything really.

2010-10-08T23:37:00.002+08:00

i dont want to talk abt what happened at work anymore because i want to forget about it and never visit it again. the only thing that made me happy this week is the brit-brit episode in Glee. thank you brittany s. pierce.

happy birthday to the baddest bitch in the phils! LOL

2010-08-31T14:48:00.007+08:00

yep that is me whoring myself to the camera! LOLs!

nah. im diverting to the way i usually spend my day duirng my bday. and im not gonna ask the 5 questions also.

so start of my day, i got here from manila at 8am, first thing i did was to look at my fb page. I dont even think i deserve such love, here it is:

this is when i checked at around 2.30ish

i have like 55 wall post already! i love y'all.

nweiz, mom and i will travel to the south tomorrow so the first order of the day is to pack our stuff. this is what i packed:

i packed light because its hot in the south so i mostly packed shorts and beach stuff. and i cannot believed it all fit into that D&B overnighter.

i packed everything that i need like:

tropical baby sunblock and sunscreen

myra e facial sunscreen (which eye ♥ btw)

my fave blue bikini

pink ipod nano 4th gen

camera

bonnet

my slip ons customised shoes which i totally love. i'll post the pic later (if you want one done for you, you can go to this website wickedtj.multiply.com --> Titan's website you can check out his shoes. he's my friend and he's really nice)

and clothes!

that's it! cant weyt!

oh yeah... i almost kille dmyself for missing the emmy's check out their opening GLEE inspired number, this would be so awesome if they included Brittany to the skit!

eye love! cant stop watching it!

EYE ♥ Pantene Hair Fall Control

2010-08-27T23:46:00.004+08:00

in furnace effective ang pantene sa herr ko.

Before my hair would only be tamed when i use Citre shine its really my go to shampoo and conditioner, however in manila i cant get citre shine easily, if i ran out of it... good luck with my hair.. i tried rejoice, clear, sunsilk, h&s, even l'oreal. nothing worked! until Pantene. I love it soo much now. I have monstrous hair fall and after 2 days my hair fall was lessened at least 75%!!! I KENT BILIBIT ASWELL!! the adverts said its atleast 14 days, but after two days,, super keri na!!! citre shine is still my go to shampoo but things might change with pantene around! I even use the Limited Edition Hair Deep Conditioner from Japan and it really REALLY works! I really really ♥ it!

LOL

2010-08-26T20:19:00.001+08:00

i hope so.. LOLS!



		I will marry mark salling.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in tokyo in our fabulous Shack.
		We will have 14 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a pink mini cooper.
		I will spend my days as a actress, and live happily ever after.

guilty pleasure: Jersey Shore

2010-08-22T18:45:00.006+08:00

some of my friends dont agree with me. one of them even tried to disown me. lol.

seriously one of my guilty pleasures right now. is Jersey Shore. (i know iknow iknow). nakakaloka na. yeys. I dont get to watch it on TV because of work and i work at night. so when i get home, i DL it and watch it while eating some snack. Thank God for broadband. And thank God that when i get home around 3am the world is mostly asleep and i dont share bandwidth with everyone. HA!

my def def fave from the girls are SNOOKI and JWOWW. I would've love Sammi too if she

wasnt sooo BLIND abt the RONNIE sitch you know??. Girl , we have intuition, where's yours?

From the guys, I like Vinny. He's sweet and he takes care of everyone. Actually I like all the boys except for Ron. Ron was likeable on the 1st season, then they moved to MIA, and suddenly acts like a mad dog thirsty for women.

Well, as for Angelina. well.... i dunno. its kindda irritating and fun to see you back because you clearly bring on the drama! especially when you piss people off! my favorite was when you pretend smack pauly d in the face and told him you love him and want to marry him. i was like... W.T.F. ahahaha.!!

I just love the craziness of this show.

an ass of cab

2010-08-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Can i just say that i hate fuckin asshole drivers?? excuse my crudeness but i really REALLY ABHOR them.

First off, yesterday the taxi cab that i rode cant hardly hear waht im saying. first sign- he asked me where to i said Tiendesitas. and i had to repeat it 4 times. I was shouting it at him already! The people on the street think im a rude ass bitch already for yellin' at a poor ol' driver. still i rode the cab as im running late already. I told the driver that we should take the underpass as its faster. Well, he did but then he turned right to ortigas! my goodness!! I asked? Why did he turned right? tiendesitas is right across the street its just a red light. didnt fuckin answer. i asked again, he just pointed towards the FUCKING TRAFFIC!!!! IM stuck in TRAFFIC FOR 20 FUCKING MINUTES!!!!! and my office is just around the corner. I would have gotten out of the stupid cab if i could but im in between two trucks that is 2 inches away from the either side of the cabr! I asked again, and told him that he could just waited for the red light to go green. he said there's a U-turn up ahead. He didnt even address why he turned right?!??? I told him, for the longest time ive been commuting to and from Eastwood to Tiendesitas and Ortigas there is no U-TURN up ahead. and he kept insisting there is. FUCK FUCK FUCK. and turns out i was right. i told him in a calm and clearly irritated manner that we could've prevented this fuck situation if you had listened to me. What do you think i am?? a new comer?!!! ( in my mind i said: fuck you. ) then we reach tiendesistas i asked him to turn left on the first cross road, and surprise surprise! he didnt. I had to YELL again to the cab driver and told him TO FUCKING TURN LEFT ON THE NEXT INTERSECTION. and good God he did. and i said stop, he didnt. and i again i said stop, as i nearly missed the office, he didnt. I opened the door, and he stopped and even scolded me for opening the fucking door while we're moving! this is the last straw, i shouted at the driver saying: "I ASKED YOU TWICE TO STOP THIS FUCKING CAB SO I COULD GET OUT YOU FUCKIN MORON AND YOU DIDNT!!! YOU DIDNT LISTEN AND DIDNT CARE!! I ASKED YOU TO TURN TO THIS AND TURN TO THAT AND YOU DIDNT AND WE ENDED UP INSIDE VALLE VERDE AND STUCK IN TRAFFIC BEFORE YOU FUCKIN LISTENED TO ME!!!" HERE'S MY FUCKIN MONEY, AND KEEP THE FUCKIN CHANGE YOU NEED TO BUY SOME QTIPS TO CLEAN YOUR AWFUL EAR!"

I know im rude, and a bitch and i dont give a fuck. I left the house an hour and 30 mins early, im 15 mins away from the office and im 30 mins late because of his stupidity.?!! fuck!! Im usually nice and polite to cab drivers, because i know driving is hard work, but that damn cab driver ruined my whole entire day!!

I believe the reason that he did that is to have a bigger fare price than normal. because my cab fare is only 50php. I give tips to the drivers, i always give 60-70php. ALWAYS. just to help out you know. but my tab rose to 90php with that stupid driver. i handed him 100php. and slammed the door to his face. BTW if your wondering what is the plate number its: PYE 869. FUCK YOU MORON!

**im sorry i used the f word more than 20x i think, its beacuse the memories and emotions came flooding back. and besides its my blog so beat it.

hello revamp - obsession and basically the rest of my week.

2010-08-07T23:24:00.004+08:00

If you just tuned in... my blogs was not like this before. LOL. Its actually a very simple black and pink canvass with no BG pix. just plain and boring. Now, since this is a very special month, ive decided to revamp my blog a little... im so tired of uploading, creating a new bg so i decided to use a generic one from blogger. ayt?

soooo..... yeah. i said i have an obsession right now. well i really dont. I just really really love the following that they are actually borderline obsession. here they are.

can you say oh la la?? who is not excited for gossip girl season 5? the fasyon itself is fantastic! just look at B. loud patterns that dont mix and yet they look good. i am specially liking her cherry top! wonder if i could get one and wear it with black liquid leggings??? LOL. And S is the same, a fancy smanchy cocktail dress turned into casual, and i just love the blazer and brogues. if this was worn with heels... i wouldnt like it.

next is one of the sketches of Madonna's Material Girl line. GREAT. IM STUCK IN THE 3rd WORLD and CANT GET TO MACY's. I ♥♥♥ the last look.

Burt's bees. how can i not live without you??? i just realised how great this product is when i actually left it at home for a whole week. I work 5 days a week out of town inside a freezer. srsly its soooo freakin cold in our bldg. and i forgot to lug my lip balm, i bought chapstick, nivea and carmex, none of them worked. im lips are chapped, windburned and dry and rough and everything. when i got home i scoured my vanity for my lippy and once i found it, immediately applied it. works wonders!

AHLAVET.

Kalurks! my shoes will arrive on tuesday and i cant wait! i ♥♥♥ shoes. its an espadrille made to order from ebay. i srlsy need to deactivate my account in ebay. im running out of shoe space and outfits to wear my shoes in. lol! even in my flat. under my bed are tons of shoe cases with 2 or 3 shoes inside. some i cant even close. Im more than happy to share my shoes however i am the only one who has a sz 9 feet. they're more on the normal sz of 6-7. my shoes are sad they are not being worn.

and speaking of my flat. my flatmates and i are arranging a trip to coron, palawan this nov. i just hope this pushes through and i just hope i have money to go. or else. ill be really really disappointed. =(

on a more serious side. every once in a while you meet a person that you think is your friend., then all of a sudden drops you like a piece of stale gum once they meet a new set of friends? ignores you and act like they dont know you?? well what is the best thing to do?? you know what i do- dump them as well. they dont deserve to be your friend. its their lost not yours. i just hope his new set of friends wont do the things that he did to us to him.

good riddance.

torturing myself: shoe edition

2010-08-01T13:55:00.013+08:00

Hallo! ok im pretty mad and kindda not at myself as i have not been blogginf gor a month. im always here i alway have my pc on but the procastinator in me wont allow me to blog. well, mostly because, a lot has been happening that i may post something here and drop some bombs about people that i dont wanna regret later on. sooo movin on...

yeah im torturing myself, why?? i kept looking at pics of shoes i can never (and even if i can i will not buy) afford. maygawd. im sooo dead. srsly. an example:

kermit tesoro's (skull/bones, forgive me kermit i totally forgot) shoes, like srsly. i will wear that. honestly.

this shoe reminds me of alexander mcqueen ss2010 (i still cant get over how the fashion world can exist without his genius, may God bless his soul) shoes that Lady GaGa so graciously gave justice to.

the shoes alone make me wanna sing "walk walk fashion baby, work it move that bitch crazy"

another obsession for like FOREVER:

espadrilles! this is one is special as this is sky high and by Stella McCartney.

Speaking of Stella, I like her ever since her Chloe days, i love her whole look and evolution. its Chic and Sassy and Stella! LOLS!

I actually adore sky high heels. I can never wear 2 in in heels lest i be down on my knees for i trip alot when my feet are closer to the ground. ahahaha!

i have a rule that if its heels it has to be 3 in and above. if its not, then its flats. ballerina flats. the whole round toe flats. im not one of those who like triangle toes that would seriously need a license for wearing those shoes. why, one poke of those shoes and your dead, or bleeding. whichever happens. srsly... i like round toes. i gives me a sense of playfullness. Its an endearing shoes, that says, im SEXY but not SLUTTY. LOLS (i seriously give shoes my personality sheesh..)

Ballet Flats! this whole ensemble makes my mouth water... all of the ballet flats i so love is here: Ruby Slipper Flat, Leopard Print Flats, Zebra Skin Flat, Leather Flats (a bonus as it is RED!) and Brogue-ala-Flats! and a bow to boot! if i have all of those i'll die! chos! how can you go wrong with that?!

and last but not the least:

Brogues! ever since i saw them on my dad when i was little i fell in ♥♥♥ with them. srsly. and im glad they are making a comeback. im actually saving up for a bootie brogue much like the one pictured above (but in round toe) i saw one in forever21. I know its not that expensive but i find it difficult to part with my hard-earned cash, and besides im goin on a trip soon... so i need cash... ahahahaha!

(photo: casedei booties brogue in black&gold; Fred Brogues with Studs by Christian Louboutin)

btw: guess what important event im celebrating this month.

you got you.

2010-06-29T11:11:00.005+08:00

Despite how many quiz ive answered, how many birthday's i non-celebrate, despite how many years i let pass me by, i am, still forever will be a 12 year old kid by heart. let me digress -- i did not conduct any scientific study or enlist the help of a great psychoanalyst/psychologist. i dont need to. who else know YOu but YOU YOURSELF. no other people need to delve into my whole being but me.

i found out and admitted it to my self last night, that i am a twelve tear old, despite my appearance and surely my real age. i remember when i was twelve, cartoons/animes were the center of my life. junkfood was my drugs, and i totally shut off people when im at home. and i dont need/want a cp when i was 12. all i need is the tv. shiny happy people disgust me, but im certainly no emo-punk-goth. im normal, i just dont like all that giddiness. the only food i ate was laced with chilis. any chilis. and i refuse to yet anything else. i get what i want and i never have to ask twice. i get to stay in my room withoput anyone bothering me, when i want someone out, he/she will be out.

so, i turned off my phone, grabbed my snacks and watched dvd's of (which i havent finished yet bytheway). i locked the door to my room, to prevent those who tried to come in, put the ac in full blast and did not see the sun for 3 straight days. i dont ever go out. no im not a vampire(though i dont like garlic), i just dont like it when im all sweaty.

the point is, at my age, i feel like im still a kid. a KID. i couldnt careless of what the world thinks, or what the outside would be like, all i cared about is me, whether i have enough time to finish all my dvd's whether i'll ran out of snacks or not...

for once i never felt like an adult. i didnt worry about my job, reports, bosses, money, people, rent, utilities. for once i am free of that burden. for once i shut that part of my world and focused on me. JUST ME. and you know what, no matter how serious the nxt day would be for me, im revitalize. im new, im fresh. because i focused on me. my center was me. i guess this is what it feels like if you found your center during yoga.

you got you.

repulsed - happy

2010-06-14T00:08:00.003+08:00

I was and still am repulsed at the video i just saw. its awful! im sure its is still a form of cannibalism and it is wretched! my gawd! i thought in this day and age, we know better, i know half of the world is starving but not to the point that you would human beings! In case you're wondering what i saw... i just saw a video of people in CHINA, eating humans brains and fetuses. you know what? brains i can understand but fetuses?!! BABIES?! aborted, miscarried it doesnt make a difference! you dont eat a full grown fetus! with hair on its head, with a face and arms and legs! juice ko! really i am mortified! i cant find the adjective that would suffice on what i am feeling right now. it felt so in human. and one guy was even sucking the vertebrae of the baby! gawd that was hard to look at! LIKE DUDE THAT IS NOT A COW! i cant believe it. and the people on the video they're civilised, cultured people. i understand strange delicacies or whatnot but i dont think humans are delicacies! you are awful awful people! wtahc the videos if you want, you can easily find it in youtube, if you have a week stomach, i suggest you skip this one out.

*********

i am so happy for jovit baldivino! he truly deserve his title! he is wonderfully talented! and extraordinarily humble. remained decent and honorable despite many intrigues hounding him! i wish for you to have a wonderful life! flourishing career and great great time!

i seriously cried when i first heard this is kid sing! i mean seriously. he is a powerful force of nature! im one of your biggest fan!

here are his videos:

sings carrie - semi finals

sings faithfully - auditions

THIS KID WILL GO PLACES! THIS KID MAKES ME PROUD TO BE A FILIPINO! GO JOVIT!

Rules to live by if you want to survive in the workplace:

2010-06-01T20:18:00.003+08:00

Rules to live by if you want to survive in the workplace:

1. Never talk about the people in your workplace to anyone outside the comforts of your own home. ESPECIALLY when your dissing them. You never know, the person next to you might be a friend of his/her. Or worst, its the person you're talking about.

2. Resist office politics as much as you can, if you are somehow caught in their web, be civil and cordial, but dont ever be tangled in their system.

3. SMILE. when your mad, when your sad, when your glad, when your bored. SMILING has done wonders to everyone.

4. Do not eat coconut juice, pie, candy etc. and banana on the same day. trust me.

5. Never ever talk about someone when your taking a leak/dump in a public CR, you never know who you're gonna see when you open the door.

6. Know the RIGHT people that can help you, for example in IT, Payroll, Health department. That doesn't mean you have to kiss-ass, it just means that knowing the right people helps in making your life easier.

7. EAT BEFORE YOU GO TO WORK. If you're work gives you a lot of stress, eat even if its just a granola bar or crackers, its keeps you focus and full at least until the first break comes along.

8. for the ladies, BRING AN EXTRA PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS, BAND AIDS, SOCKS. Wearing fierce shoes is must to complete your outfit, but sometimes you have to give your feet some air to breathe and relax, remember we don't want to trip in the middle of the hallway for fashion's sake.

9. Sometimes its OK to say NO.

10. Do not talk about work during your gimmicks with your office mates. It only adds stress to your day and lessens the happy moments in you night outs.

11. Have a little crush at work. Aside from the payday having a crush makes you perform better and eager to come to work. It also helps if your trying to lose weight, as you would be conscious on how good you look.

12. Freshen up every once in a while. You work is killing you but sometimes a spritz of your favorite cologne or a quick hilamos, recharges you.

13. Alternate coffee and tea. They said that coffee gives you that kick to start your day, but some of the ingredients in coffee makes your nerves a total wreck, so alternate with a healthy dose of green tea or lemon tea, it gives you the same caffeine with less backlash effect.

14. Stop and smell the roses. Stop for a few minutes and just breathe. its relaxes you and de-stresses quickly.

PRE ELECTION REACTION .

2010-05-08T17:11:00.003+08:00

im tired of ranting on how HOT it is in the phils. i've got no choice but to live with it and suck it up so i wont rant anymore.

what i actually want to write about is how pathetic the filipinos get when making excuses on who to vote for. Dont get me wrong, im a filipino too, but the way we are thinking? its too backward! how can you expect progress when you yourself does not progress in the coconut area??

the worst excuse that i heard from people on why they wont vote who they want to vote is because: it will only be wasted on a candidate who will not win the elections anyway.. i just have to say this out loud WHAT.THE.FUCK!! That has got to be the most pathetic, ignorant, and inconsiderate excuse i have ever heard in my entire life!

c'mon! you want to vote that person! you have faith and belief in that person, and just because of an uncertainty (i.e. damn surveys) you quickly lose faith?! seriously?! if you want change, if you want progress, if you want freedom from your life right now. for crying out loud BELIEVE! choose the person you want to lead you!

NO VOTE IS A WASTE! a vote will only be wasted if you voted for a person you do not believe in, just because the survey says they have no chances of winning.

SURVEYS, do not mean a thing! it never helped anyone. and even if the survey says it surveyed 100k filipinos, those 100k filipinos does not comprise of the whole entire country! and have you ever thought of the science on how they "choose" these people??

im not judging or dissecting on how MWSS or other survey people do their thing, its just that, its very annoying on how easily swayed people can get because of a survey and then, in the end, they would still blame whoever it is who won for not doing what they promised! to think that they only voted for thst person because of lack of faith.

how about this, try to vote for someone who you truly believe in. regardless of the survey results or opinions of other people. VOTE ON MAY 10, THE PERSON YOU (USING YOUR BRAIN) THINK AND BELIEVE CAN DO OUR COUNTRY SOME CHANGING IT SO DESPERATELY NEEDS.

VOTE WISELY. THIS IS THE FIRST ELECTION SINCE MY LIFETIME THAT IVE SEEN GREAT COMPETITION AND GREAT PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY IN THE RUNNING TO BE THE PRESIDENT OF THE PHILIPPINES.

VOTE WITH YOUR HEART AND MIND. YOUR VOTE CAN MAKE OR BREAK OUR COUNTRY.

photo courtesy of:phillipinedailybrew.com

when you see my face hope it gives you hell!

2010-04-26T10:28:00.003+08:00

since its so early in the morning and i dont know what to say yet... i'll just share to you one of my fave video's of glee! oh and yeah, i love this vid because it encompasses every feeling i have with EH!

when you see my face EH hope it gives you hell! coz im happy as hell!! LOL!

yay! me

2010-04-24T15:33:00.003+08:00

wheew! i should never underestimate myself. when i say IM DONE. IM REALLY DONE! gotta love this ticking heart of mine. if it tells my brain to stop because its tired of loving a certain someone, it would really stop. i love you ♥ dont ever leave me!! and the friends also help. i have a massive friendship circle that is totally reliable during my times of need. i love you all. you never fail me.

and i guess it also helps me being a huge biatch! strong willed and powerful. never say die. now THAT is what a bitch is. not the nasty, flirt, hoochie mama that everyone thinks of.

gotta love this.

so you! EH, get over yourself! you're not the greatest catch in the ocean. and im not gonna wait for you, if you cant stand by your love for me then goodbye brotha! i dont need someone who lacks the backbone to stand up to me and to the world and say you love me. its not my loss, its yours. so keep your heart i dont need it. and i dont think i'll ever want it. ever. again. if you cant be a MAN, then i guess, goodbye. lets just be friends then. just dont get hooked on me again.

sick to the blood

2010-04-23T17:07:00.003+08:00

what i hate about myself is that i rarely get sick... and when i do... expect HELL!! i hate it. sobra! parang wala ng bukas pag nagkasakit ako... like now, though im feeling much better i cant move that much lest i be dead and my face is will be covered in muck. oK, that was exaggerating but the point is, i'd rather be sick a lot of time and still feel enormously ok than be sick once every 3 years and feel like a useless vegetable in near catastrophic proportions. (forgive my grammar or my spelling, im still nauseous but i refuse to give up blogging)

hell, im just saying that because i can never feel the other. a typical human being. never satisfied of what we have.

oh yeah, incase you're wondering what my case is... im anemic with mild dehydration. anemic - yeah, Anemia, one of the more common blood disorders, occurs when the level of healthy red blood cells (RBCs) in the body becomes too low. This can lead to health problems because RBCs contain hemoglobin, which carries oxygen to the body's tissues. Anemia can cause a variety of complications, including fatigue and stress on bodily organs. (courtesy of kidshealth.org)

Signs and Symptoms

If your child has anemia, the first symptoms might be mild skin paleness and decreased pinkness of the lips and nailbeds. These changes may happen gradually, though, so they can be difficult to notice. Other common signs include:

* irritability
* fatigue
* dizziness, lightheadedness, and a rapid heartbeat

If the anemia is caused by excessive destruction of RBCs, symptoms also may include jaundice, a yellowing of the whites of the eyes, an enlarged spleen, and dark tea-colored urine. (courtesy of kidshealth.org)

all in BOLD are my symptoms.

it's actually my fault really. i've been feeling a lot worse on Monday, but heeeelllll noo... i gotta go to work! i gotta finish my induction! went to work, drank 3 bonamine, vomit 2 and off i go! Tuesday can't even stand, drank water, vomitted water, took a long long long bath to calm my nerves, drank 3 medicine, and off i go. feeling light headed on the way to work so i ate some bbq i think and sprite. then towards the end of my shift feeling nauseous already... but no! being the trooper that i was, even invited some friends to stay and eat (because i really thought that im just hungry that's why dizzy)... while eating i feel the lumps of food not going down my throat and actually backing up so drank more and more.. at home, i took a long bath, dried my hair and woke up woozy. i even replied to some text, but i can only manage to use one eye, coz if i use both i take the risk of vomitting everything. WEDNESDAY i came to the point of i dont have anything in my stomach anymore that i vomitted air. and acid. im close to crying since i live independently i dont have anyone to help me. i cant move, i cant eat, i cant talk , i cant even change my position in bed!! and the worst part, its soooo hot! i cant drink water, im sweating all over the place and im dehydrated.

i finally had the urge to call my mom and to pick me up and get me to a hospital, because i just tasted blood on my puke. and it aint pretty. trust me. i think my stomach told me "you're such a trooper kid, but sometimes being a baby is much better... if you feel you're as tough as nails, then imma give you something to send you back from whatever part of the universe you think you belong". and that my friends is how i ended up here.

karma's a bitch and so am i

2010-04-17T10:44:00.000+08:00

karma's a bitch.

well, karma is an uber bitch! my friday started out well enough, it was after all my favorite day of the whole entire week! because its cheesy friday! anyways, the day started pretty normal (i already said that) training as usual and my annoying mood swing did not rear its ugly head once! yay for me! we went to mass as per my boss, we should, though im really melting there, the upside to that is! we ate pizza!! GLORIOUS PIZZA!! im really trying to avoid that damn calories all those weeks of eating crackers and water and yakult was so over with 4 small slices of pizza! LOL! well more diet to go! anyways... so my work day is so over and done with. HOW EVER! i just had to say goodbye to EH. because i miss him and its a nice goodbye forever touch. im actually avoiding the bastard till he make his move. he's just too damn stubborn and torpe. or am i just hoping for nothing??? idk.

so we went to Bancheto, the every friday, food smorgasborg in ortigas, where french cuisine meets japanese craves, where filipino flare is mixed with american grits, you get the idea. and as the usual, i ordered my bancheto meal for a lifetime, the pesto with baked chicken. for 100php its sooo gooood, its soooo worth it! and my friends tried it as well and it was a hit! we actually ordered everything there. soo after we munched (demure) on our meals we talked about a lot of stuff... honestly M gossiped, bitched and over all humiliated the 3 stooges. and we just laughed our assess off. technically we said some things too, but no where near the angst of M. soooo laugh and luagh and now its time to leave, im going back to gapo (here)...

soo on the way:
rode a freaking taxi who charge like hell is freezing over if he doesnt get a mark up to 80!!
rode the wrong bus!
eded up sitting in the conductor's chair which is so hard and uncomfortable it gave me a butt ache!
the tires on the bus went splat! so we got stuck somewhere in pampanga just so we can change tires
never got a chance to sleep because every time the driver switched lanes im gonna fall off!! so sleepy pa naman!

that was so karma! what a loser day to start sturday!

nahulog

2010-04-12T07:35:00.004+08:00

ang aga ko nanaman nagising. at bored na ko kagad. buti na lang may facebuko.com it never fails to start my day! case in point:
maraming golden thoughts sa website na to! lalo naman na ang mga cheesy lines! ako yata ang self-proclaimed reyna ng cheesy lines! ahahaha!

in a more serious matter, to you friend: i'll support you no matter what. you can make it. i know you feel like your in deep shit, but you dont have to be in it alone. we can share it. we already shared more than that friend... dont worry i wont go. i'll stick by you until you get through..

set me free why dont you baby!

2010-04-11T08:55:00.001+08:00

well sometimes i just want to smash you in the face and not look at you ever again! i will be missing in your life for 1 week. let's see what happens!

jump shots!

2010-04-04T19:02:00.003+08:00

i just love jumping shots and for the lack of better things to share (and also im so happy everything is fine) here are my jump shots!

an open letter

2010-04-03T22:33:00.003+08:00

alam mo, sobrang clueless ko talaga sa mga nangyayari. wala talaga. ikaw na nga eh! ikaw na! kumikibo pa ba ako? may sinasabi pa ba ako? wala na diba? ayoko na. ang aga mo kong pinagod. madali naman akong kausap eh. sobrang dali. kung ayaw. edi wag.

paalam.

it was very nice knowing you.

being sick is crap

2010-04-03T13:10:00.002+08:00

1 week na akong may sakit. and its crap. i'm slowly loosing my voice (actually its hoarse), can't breathe on one of my nostril, my throat is irritated and my eyes are a bit swollen. all symptoms of an impending doom! i am sniffing and blowing like a sailor on met! ahahahaha!

emo trip is shit

2010-03-28T13:11:00.005+08:00

I dont know why im getting emotional/sentimental more and more everyday. i dont think it comes with the friends coz they make me happy... special someone perhaps?? i dont know. i know he's special... there must be something in the air. the weird thing about this is, its not even february (technically the love month.) i think my heart is on permanent 'crushed mode'. It feels like its always broken. if i get an x-ray, i think it would look EXACTLY like this. i need to have a working heart you know.

but i think this emo trip will pass. i think this is all due to the fact that i watch a lot of sappy movies/shows. i've been catching up on tagalog movies all of a sudden, like the movie One More Chance. Its like the best love story movie of all the freaking time. It made a benchmark on my category of movies. its never a good love story unless it tramps One More Chance. SERIOUSLY. what movie do you get lines like these:

"mahal na mahal kita, kahit ang sakit sakit na..." -AWTS!

"she loved me at my worst, you had me at my best yet you chose to break my heart.." -AWTS again!

"kagustuhan ko naman ito di ba? bakit ako ang nasasaktan ng sobra,a lam mo lagi ko pa ding sinasabi sana ako, sana ako nalang, sana ako nalang ulit.." - SUPER AWTS

finally!

2010-03-27T09:34:00.003+08:00

i miss the blogging world! i felt a sudden jolt of excitement! i am now internet-enabled! at ang globe ang enabler ko! LOL!

so much has happened to me these months, and i cant even begin where to start. To say the least, career-wise ive grown, from a lowly agent to a cooltastic trainer. Honestly, i never imagined myself as a trainer, or as an educator for that matter. i was always a chatter but ive never had the patience to actually teach stuff to people. Up to now, i dont know where im getting my patience from... must be divine intervention. or im getting older and i have more understanding of things?? either way, i love it. and im actually enjoying it.

emotionally... im trying to be stable. trying to cope. trying... trying... trying... there are times when i think that this is my karma for being such a bee-atch! suffer the life of singledom! LOL! its just that, im afraid to actually fall again. because God knows how miserable i felt my heart got broken. so if you, however you are out there, who actually feels some love for me, can you take it slow? please act out if you're 10000000000000000% sure. i cant bear another heartache. i'll simply die.

till next time!

of birthdays and wishes

2009-09-01T11:25:00.001+08:00

my birthday is not as uneventful as i thought it would be.

woke up twice to Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles, that's why its my b-day song. we went to manaoag to attend mass early in the morning, which was good.

got the copy of Stella Mag and saw myself. whoa.. i'll stop there.

i got a call from hu-hom. its kindda kilig but still no. never again.

i got a txt from my crush... ahahaha! tawa ako ng tawa nung nabasa ako! akin na lang yung text, di ko na ishishare. basta nakakaloka sya.

namili na naman ako ng sapatos. tingin ko talaga malala na problema ko sa sapatos eh. kakabili ko lang last week eh. wala na akong malagyan sa bahay, ubos na ung shoebox keeper space ko! di ko naman maipamigay dahil 10 ang shoe size ko at puro heels ito. ahahaha! girl. di ko naman mapahiram sa kapaid ko kasi s8 lang ang shoe size nia. tapos nagbabalak pa akong bumili next week.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ilayo nio ko sa mall!!!!! lilipat na ako ng bahay, ung malayo sa eatswood!!! wahahahaha!!!

may problema rin ako sa mga dresses eh. di ko rin maitigilan. wala na akong closet space. kakainis.

iisa lang talaga ang naiisip kong solution.

MAGPAGAWA NG MAS MALAKING CLOSET SPACE!!!! ahahahaha!!

thank you po sa bday greetings.

nakuha ko na ang 1 out of 3 bday wish ko!!!

still waiting for the next two.

crossing my fingers.

and of course! thank you family and friends for the greetings and wishes!! love you all!!!

news of my old world.

2009-08-25T18:41:00.000+08:00

ahum. well, i'll try blogging from work now. just now.

i manage to squeeze a little petiks time at work and read my past journals. most of the blogs/rants/raves are from my years in college- way back 2 years ago.

medyo naculture shock lang ako sa mga nabasa ko. na gaing mismo sa utak ko. weird diba? anyways, i was reading the part of i think im on my freshmen year. I thought all this time my freshman year was the bomb. i always remember it as full of fun and childish candor. i wasnt expecting the 'bombs' i read. akala ko all fun ako nun. the people are great, the setting, the idea everything. pero di pala. maraming ka-shit-an din pala nangyari. and most of the people i've known in frehsman year dont even talk to me. they're not even my facebook friends. ahaha!

sophomore year?! dont even get me started. i think my mind totally blacked out during sophomore year. i dont even remember my most enjoyable time, much more the shittiest.

junior year was anything but. its like the scar of my whole college life. the subjects are the hardest. the people are insane! but it turned out the start of a new beginning.

senior year. i'll discuss that in a different era.

all in all, i cant evenr ecognise myself in college. i wanted to say na sobrang nagmature na ko. pero parang hindi pa rin. i think the only thing that change in my life big time are prioritise. my prios are way off now. now my prios are:

paying for the house
investing on a lot
pimping the car
saving for my future
my sis' college tuitions
and other work related stuff (which will bore you out)

i can't even see my friends on a weekend. my life is so grown up.
buti na lang nagkaron ng reunion. thanks sa fb. reunion part 1 and 2! na nasundan pa ng maraming inuman session. the reunion mad eme think na, namimiss ko pala ang mga taong to. mga kaklase ko sila since kinder days pa!

isa pang realisation. napakababaw ko pala nun. feeling ko ang galing galing ko. feeling ko ang lalim kong mag isip. shallow pala ako nun. narelaise ko rin na TH ako nun, papa-impress ako sa mga prof kong ang tataas ng lipad sa literary and philo world. di ako bagay sa mundo nila. wala akong alam.
hanggang nagyon nga di ko pa rin maxado gets yung concept ni nietsczhe eh. tama ba spelling?

ngayon ko lang talaga naisip na ang hirap pala, pag hawak mo na ang buhay mo. kapag napigtas na ang tali mo sa magulang mo at ikaw na ang humihila ng direksyon ng pelikula mo. at dahil rin sigurong wala akong pwedeng sisihin sa mga desisyon ko, kundi ako.

sana kahit 1 araw lang magin 10 years old ako ulit. o kaya sanggol. para mas appreciate ko kung ano at sino ako noon.

will blog again.

2009-08-24T15:13:00.001+08:00

well hello there! naadik ako sa facebook at sira ang pc ko kaya hindi ako nakakapag-blog. well i will blog siguro next next week na!

WOOOHOOOO!!!

2009-05-05T14:03:00.002+08:00

kaya parang walang kagana gana ako mag blog ay dahil depress depressan ako nung nakaraang buwan. kasi akala ko ung ipod ko sira na. perrooo...

woohoo me!

okay... nagawa ko rin ang ipod ko! isang malaking yehey sakin. grabe!! worried na ko eh, buti na lang naisip ko yun.

2 weeks na kasing hindi madetect ng pc ung ipod. dahil sa kagagawan ko rin. may binura akong apple application sa hard drive kasi kailangan kong magdefrag, eh kulang ung space. binura ko sya. since then... wala na.

naiiyak na nga ako eh, kasi wala pang 1 year ung ipod ko... masisira na. akala ko rin nilamon na ng trojan ang ipod ko, dahil nga napuno ng trojan tong pc dahil sa kapatid kong bunso, na hindi marunong magscan at pasak lang ng pasak ng mga flashdrive.

anyways... medyo nakakatakot sa aking work nagyon. i wont go into details na lang. isang malaking SHET! pero ok lang. i understand. recession eh. kaya nga gabi gabi nagdarasal akong sana matapos na ang recession at sa kung tutuloy ito, sana hindi ako mawalan ng trabaho.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok. ano pa. aaahhhh. these past weeks lagi kaming lumalabas nina twacey at yekki. so far... masaya naman sya. ang plano, every other week lumabas. at bago pa ako masumbatan lalo ng mga taong ito i-a-upload ko na ang mga pix.

```````````````````````````````````

nga pala HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY sa ating mga ina!!! namili nga kami ng peryborit cake ni mommy kasi nga mother's day. yun ung cake na ginawa ng Mansion bakery dito sa gapo ung black forest nila. mamaya na lang ung pix inaayos ko pa kasi. sarap ng kanin ng aking ina. ung lang kasi ang kinakain nian cake.

definitely a nightmare.

2009-03-21T19:21:00.000+08:00

funny story.

ni hindi ko man lang iniisip ang taong ito nung patulog na ko or ever! promise!! and yet maxadong madrama ang panaginip ko sa kanya. mga tipong maalaala mo kaya na parang romeo and juliet. nakakatawa. pag gising ko nga kanina, tawa ako ng tawa. ahahaha.

ito na yung pinakagist ng story ayoko ng i-elaborate kasi, baka mabisto nio kung sino sya. di ko kakayanin ang panunukso if ever.

YOU GUYS know him. pwera yung mga college dabarkads ko...

eto:

setting: secret, madalas tayo dun. basta gabi sya, tapos pauwi na ko. and he showed up.

characters: ako, my dad, at sya, itago na lang natin sa pangalang SCAR

parang eto na nga, pinupursue na nia ang lola mo, tapos syempre ang lola mo winner ang feeling, so ito na, uuwi daw ako ng gapo, then sinundo ako! aba ihahatid daw ako sa bahay, para makilala ang familia du juor. (natatawa talaga ako habang tinataype ko to) yun na, and then nakita sya ni dad. hindi sya type. so ako, mega tanggol naman sa lolo mo! aba, ang ginawa ni Ama, ay kinausap, niligaw sa gapo at ayun, di ko na nakita. aba, mega crayola naman daw ako!!! grabe! as in! di ko kinaya. nag away pa raw kami ni ama, na mega sinagot sagot ko raw ang everything. ayun, pagbalik ko ng manila nagsolo na raw ako, pero di na raw ako kinausap or pinuntahan pa ni Scar... iyak daw ako ng iyak... grabe.

yan ang gist.

medyo barubal yung storia pero pag inelaborate ko kasi mahuhulaan nio talaga! at nakakahiya. naloka nga ako pag gising ko, ni hindi ko sya iniisip, di ko na sya naaalala pero MAY GAWD!!! ANG HEIGHT NG EMOSYON!!!

nakakatawa talaga.

cue music: tut-tururururut tut tut tut turururut

impulses and emotions

2009-03-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

im thinking of something witty to write hear or something to talk about... but i got zilch.

my mind is on a constant roll of the emails i've answered, and my brain cells are fried to a pulp from over exposure to computer and tv radiation. i've managed to rescue my hearing as i quit plugging my ears with my ipod. last week and this week is a stressful week. and im so stressed already so im not gonna blog about it.

and guess what i received when i turned on my cp:

"honey, how's your day??"

i know your being sweet and all and you just wanted to know how my day went and your worried.

but honey, when my day is one ginormous CRAP i cannot appreciate any kindness or sweetness or rainbows and butterflies sent to me. no matter how sweet and cuddly or whatever words needed to describe that loving way is, i cannot take it.

so sorry. really i mean it. im sorry for always acting so crappy. im sorry if i cant appreciate the little things. im sorry if i cant give enough time for us. im sorry if im not posting our pictures or still claiming im single in facebook and friendster.

look at what we've become

2009-03-06T03:53:00.002+08:00

i've been chatting with my college buddies trhu facebook. been rekindling some college barkada chismis and antics as well. medyo nawala kasi ako sa sirkulasyon. actually laging nangyayari un sakin. focus ko kasi work eh.

so via facebook ive been hearing that not everyone turned up to be a big shot journalist like everyone dreamed of. dun ko rin narealise na napaka idealic naman ng college for us, especially for me. college is supposed to teach me the rounds of the dog eat dog world but hell!!! wala rin pala. its still a comfort zone.

some of them, who i believe will turn out to be one hell of a journalist are now in cc. just like me. yung iba naman, eventhough they're living the journalistic dream wants to be in cc.

for example my friend lee. i would kill to get a chance to apply in abs, he's already in that zone. he just need to prove himself. and he's one good writer too.
kaya lang he's thinking of applying in a cc. kasi nga ang baba ng pay.

mjeff. one hell of a writer. i can totally see her writing for the literary section of PDI. then she's teaching korean kids to speak english.

doing what you love doesnt always equate in making you happy.

ive been contemplating about how would i feel when i pursue my journalism career.

would i absolutely love it?

would i be so happy and contented?

i dont think so. siguro kung solong katawan lang ako... na hindi ko sinusuportahan ang pamilya ko. maatim kong mag sulat for a living. ok lang sakin na 12k starting ko or 10k. basta im writing.

pero hindi eh. i need money. i need to save money. i need to give money. i need money to survive.

akala ko talaga, im such a loser for not pursuing a journalistic career. im such a loser kasi wala akong nababalitaan na batchmate kong nag end up sa cc but me.

but then eto na, i know the truth.

napaisip na rin ako eh, buti nang ganito. di ko man pinag aralan to, atleast binubuhay ako.

hindi na praktikal na ipilit mo na ang pinag aralan mo ang makuha mong trabaho. hindi rin naman masama yun. pero sa sitwasyon natin ngayon, di talaga advisable. mahirap ang buhay ngayon. kailangan natin ng pera.

saka ko na siguro iisipin ang pagsusulat. pag nakapag ipon na ako ng malaki laki. na hindi ako nahihirapang hugutin ang pera kung saan.

or...

mag asawa na lang ako ng bilyonaryo na may stocks sa isang broadcasting company at magdemand na gawan ako ng sarili kong show or magazine! ahahahahaha!!!

wish ko lang.

in a winter wonderland (layo ng title)

2009-02-28T05:33:00.002+08:00

ahahahhahahahha.. wala lang. masakit ang tyan ko sa gutom at antok. medyo boring ang buhay ko ngayon. wala maxadong kasiyahan. summer na naman. ewan ko ba 90% ng mga tao sa mundo ay gustong gusto ang summer. pero ako? ayoko. AYOKO. dahil bukod sa mainit, ay mainit talaga! panggabi pa naman ako, kailangan kong matulog sa umaga. pagpatak ng alas onse hanla! gising na ang diwa ko! pano, basa na ako ng pawis! 4 na electric fan na ang nakatapat sakin di talaga pwede... hindi talaga ako fan ng pawis. o pagpapawis. buti sana kung bawat pagpapawis ko ay automatic 10lbs off sakin diba! edi in 2 weeks lang seksi na ko!!! wahahahaha! di na. ang pangit ko kaya pag payat. na try ko na. shet. mukha akong bungo. ung kontinig payat lang pwede na ko. yung sobra ayoko. pero di naman ako aabot sa payat ni paris hilton no! ibang level yun. bordering on anorexic na yun. tama na sakin ang lumiit ang hips at hita ko isama ko na ang arms ko.

anyway.

wala talaga. walang nakakatawa. sabi ko pa naman, magblo-blog lang ako kung may nakakatwang istorya akong sasabihin senyo. ano ba? wala eh. isang buwan na rin akong diet kay papa jack. kung pwede lang mag radio habang nagtratrabaho diba? nakakatawa kasi talaga yung kay papa jack. isang off-the-wall in yourfuckingface advise ang ibinibigay nya, kung baka funny but brutally frank. ask at your own risque. what a hell of a show if conceptualise to become a talk show for tv! kaya lang di papayag si madam la guardia. offensive sya kanya ang kulantro! wahahaha! di naman, may sexual undertones kasi ung. undertones??? wat? di naman. for adults only lang.

siguro, if we exist in a variably unconventional explicitly favorable world, papa jack would be in prime time. maxado naman akong fan. wahahaha. seriously, he would. yan nga eh if we exist in a non-naivity world. where there is no taboo, no explotive and no holds barred realism. pero kung ganun. baka chaotic tayo. kaya stay with radios na lang tayo papa jack.

hehehe.

pansinin nio. i have no letter 'Z'. sa sobrang practice ko ng british slang at spelling wala na. lahat ng z ko s na. whether verb or noun ung word. leche.

eat bulaga.

2009-02-23T15:31:00.003+08:00

hahahahhaah!!!

i started this blog entry laughing. kasee... i was watching Eat Bulaga taktak portion. isang malaking tumbling ang pangyayari. eto para malinaw:

bossing: san galing yung pangalan mo?

contestant: sa tatay ko po!

bossing: oo nga pala junior ka!

** pero di yan masyadong nakakatawa ito talaga:

bossing: anong M ang tawag sa mga taong 18 yrs old and below?

contestant: mAkjfhksfh (di ko maintindihan, ang intindi ko ay "Mayonaisse!")

bossing: ang intindi ko mayonnaisse eh... ang sagot ay "Mi - "

audience: "Mi--"

contestant: MAY MENOR!!!

bossing: yun oh!!!

amp!!!! di ako makahinga sa kakatawa!! seryoso.

hay. kakagising ko lang. tulog ako most of the day kahapon.

isang malaking shit. ang init na sa pilipinas. di nakaktulong sa pagiging night shift ko. di ako makatulog sa umaga, lalo na pag dating ng 11am. pota cranky as hell nako. di ako makatulog!! basa na ako ng pawis. masaya sana kung sa bawat pagpapawis ko eh tanggal ng 10lbs sa katawan ko diba?! eh hindi eh. kailangan ko pa rin si doktora belo para matanggal yun. ahahaha. i wish.

nakakaloka. naaddict na ako sa facebook. pero alam kong umpisa lang to. parang friendster. pag pinagsawaan ko na, wala na, maswerte na ang 3x month ko macheck.
pero forever nako sa multiply.

medyo nag aadik adik ako ngayon. kinulayan ko ng iba ibang nail polish ang kuko sa kaliwang kamay kagabi. mga 3 am na kasi ako natulog. busy ako sa panunod ng tv. juno at wizard of oz yung palabas kaya medyo busy ako.

ewan ko ba. bigla ko na lang naisipang mag nail polish habang nakikinig kay Duffy. kaya naisip ko rin, mangulimbat ng maraming maraming album art.

kaya ito.

kung di kayo natawa sa kwento ko ng eb, eh dahil isa talaga akong shit na story teller. im not for explaining things to people. im impatient. pero ewan. nagflo-floor walk naman ako pag kailangan. di naman ako naasar. leche. oxymoronic phrases nanaman.

nga pala, pag may nakita kayong book na Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, pakisabi naman skin, wala akong makita eh. wag lang yung nabibili pa sa russia or sa kung saan kailangan ko pang magbarko or eroplano para makabili ha. tama na ang bus, tryke or jeep.

salamat!

what happened in powerbooks, gets blogged.

2009-02-12T03:07:00.004+08:00

another blog entry.

it is approximately what? 3am? i dunno. i have no watch. i have no concept of what time is. when you're working at a call center, you will have no gauge on the days or weeks that passed you by... the only thing that keeps you is the wonderful fact that your rest day is an hour or two away... really. and pay day.

if you're not in a call center world, you wouldn't feel christmas twice a month. pay day = beer day = parent's day. yan eh kung nagbibigay ka, at isa kang wheat/raisin/loaf bread winner ng pamilya mo. BBBUUUTTT, if you're a self centered bitch who cares only about yourself or does not have any siblings or parents to support... weeeellll.... WINNER KA!!! buti ka! isa kang anak ng JUICE! and.i.totally.hate.your.guts.

hay. itigil na natin ang rant na ito about me, being in cc. marami namang benefits eh.

anyways. this is my real blog.

i went to national bookstore and powerbooks the other day. i was looking for a hard bound copy of the sandman series of neil "wonderful literary brain" gaiman, dahil yun na lang ang missing piece ng aking gaiman collection. nweiz, i went to nbs first, wala. nada. they only got hard bound Coraline. wadapak?!!! ano gagawin ko sa coraline? eh nabili ko na yun. so i told ms. reservation-book-please that if ever they have a gaiman sandman series please reserve a copy for me. so eto na.... ang files and everything echos echos na! maygawd! hanla... i have a record with them about it, 2 months ago!!! and the freakin' copy is stil MIA. maygawd. cancel the whole damn thing. please.

so off to powerb. powerb i saw my coveted books. lo and behold, when i saw the price tag -- TUMATAGINTING NA 4 KYAW!!! may gawd! isa pang may gawd!!! 4-FREAKING-THOUSAND-FUCKING-PESOS?!!!!! ha? ano ulit un??

sa 4-FREAKING-THOUSAND-FUCKING-PESOS na ibabayad ko sa nag iisang book na yun makakabili na ko ng:

- 1 buwang grocery
- 8 pares havaianas dahil may sale!!!
- 2 converse
- isang katerbang dvd sa QUIAPO
- isang trak ng chocnut
- 8 pirasong skinny-fucking-jeans
- maraming maraming shawarma
- 20 kahon ng 120 crayolasss at balon-balong coloring book!!! HEAVEN..

and so on and so forth.

sooo, i decided that eventhough its a really really good book, its not a really really good buy. mas maatim ko pang ubusin ang 4 kyaw sa pagkain kesa sa libro.

isa pa. gusto ko ng crayola.

ha.

so, umupo muna ako sa isang tabi. pwede naman ung sa pb. at nag isip isip. nasa utak ko na, na ang bibilhin ko na lang ay ang choke ni chuck palahnuik (tama ba spelling?) ng biglang....

"WHAAAAAATTTT??? YOU LOST IT?!!!" isang mala Paris Hilton na tinig, na sobrang landeee, may gawd. with matching books on the floor kinda sound

i cant help but look at the direction the voice came from. ay day. isang matinding wadapak talaga. isang pre-teen/tween or whatever ang nearly crying na. why? ( i know, im chismosa) she was talking to someone on her cp (i dunno who, my ears are not that bionic) blah-blah this blah-blah that... then "BUT ITS TWILIGHT!! ITS MY TWILIGHT BOOK?!!!! IT"S PRICELESS!!!""

huwaw. napa-upo ako. shet. it's twilight pare!!! its priceless tapos wawalain mo lang?!!! MAYGAWD. masyadong malalim ang hinanakit ng bruhang ito. maygawd.

now i have proof that twilight/robert pattinson is/it a GAWD. sinasamba sya ng mga preteen in their very very pubertal stage, thinking they're Bella.

i stood up, looked at the girl, and she's sobbing. huwaw. i pity her. i cant take the scene anymmore, its breaking my heart. and my broken heart would only be healed by starbucks. (joke) wala, lumabas na ako ng pb, nawala na sa utak ko na bibilhin ko yung choke dahil sa sobrang drama ng nasaksihan ko.

so i went home. watched cartoons and pigged-out on fita crackers. coz we're poor y'all!

hahaha!!!

hello me!!

2009-02-06T06:00:00.002+08:00

hey y'all! miss me? i know i did.

yeah i missed myself. im so busy (understatement) with work that i forgot that i even have a blog!

OA.

tigilan ang kaartehan. nagtratrabaho ako sa call center. nakaktamad mag ingles. nakakaloka ang mag ingles. pahinga muna sa blog ko.

ano na ba nangyari?

yeah, maraming ng lumipas.

lumipas nga ang birthday ko, di ako nakapagblog. di ko man lang nasabi sa world na napaka uneventful ng birthday ko. di ko man lang napagsigawan sa webspace na napaka korni ng birthday day ko. asan nga ba ako ng birthday ko??

anong araw ba pumatak yun....??? teka ... (sabay tingin sa calendar sa cp) SUNDAY pala yun. wala akong pasok. anong ginawa ko?? natatandaan ko na natulog ako. yun lang. ni hindi man lang ako nagshopping or namili ng regalo para sa sarili ko. kahit cake wala ako.

kawawa naman ako.

opkors. pasko.

bagong taon. NEW YEAR.

well, as tradition says, i need to end my 2008 with a very dramatic shitness.(pakshet, feb na ngayon ko lang gagawin to?!)

well here goes.

my 2008:

rebirth of skinny-fucking-jeans. skinny-fucking-jeans means skinny-fucking-diet to fit in your skinny-fucking-jeans. shet.

birth of multicolored-SKINNY-eyesore-pants. THAT BECAME -- IN A WEIRD AND PAINFUL WAY... APPLICABLE FOR MEN TO WEAR! ISANG MALAKING WATTAPAAAK?!!! yeah, hindi tanggap sa lipunan ko ang mga kalalakihan na magsuot ng super/notsuper skinny jeans na kulay periwinkle blue, forest green, muntik-ng-maging-fuschia red, eggplant purple at dancing sun yellow. isang malaking SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTtt!!!!!!!!

ipod. ipod. ipod. nanochromatic. shet. enuff said. its in a very bakla-fenk! ilabshet!

havainas flash! oo i succumb to the havaianas society. fucktard ka kung aangalan ka. di mo pera to.

sarcasm and sarcasm.

cool winter nights!! dahil laking aircon ako kuno! allergic ako sa pawis.

PROP 8. im no american, but i believe in equality. and i support prop 8. LOVE transcends religion, color, race, and gender. be equal. be sugarfree. shet, korni ng segway ko.

the death of manila chismis. yeah. ever since they shut down the gossip blog of manila's elite... i feel that im less unfortunate.

jon and kate plus 8. alexis, hanna, aaden, collin, leah, joel. enuff said. catch it on TLC or discovery home and health.

the death of my pc. shet..

my love affair with ruffles sour cream and cheddar cheese. maygawd!

o syempre! the jologs of all jologs hobby ko!!! PAPA JACK'S TLC and wild confessions!!!

ayan. my 2008 atleast 3rd to 4th quarter overview ng buhay ko.

so my question is?

ikaw? kamusta ang 2008 mo?

ask me! ask me!

2008-08-10T19:38:00.001+08:00

teka!! stop the presses!!! ang EHEADS may REUNION CONCERT?!! sa CCP?!! sa AUGUST 30!!!!!!!! TARA NA MGA FRIENDS!!!!! REUNION TO!!!!

huwaw. araw ng aking ina.

maligayang kaarawan sa aking pinakamamahal na INA.

nakakatawa ang araw na ito. pag gising ko tumatawa na ako.

1. ang pc ay maayos na!!! hello NTLDR!!!
ang una kong naisip ay makakapagblog na ako sa bahay!!! di na ako titingin sa paligid ligid kung gusto kong magblog! woohoo!!

2. nagising ako sa text ni lanchie. as usual quotes nanaman... di ko pa nga pala nasasagot yung tanong nia.

3. ang aga ko nagising. 7am eh katutulog ko lang ng 2am sa kakapanood ng tv

4. BIRTHDAY NG NANAY KO!! may spaghetti sa bahay!!! yum!

5. nakarami yata ako ng movies ngayon. movie overload to mga tsong!!! (indiana jones, hancock, beowulf, kung fu panda) i know luma na ang mag movies na to! sori! maraming nakapila eh

6. AUGUST NA!!!!!

7. yun lang.

nga pala birthday month ko na. dapat may gagawin akong kakaiba sa blog na ito eh. kaya lang marami akong mga bagon g friends ngayon, bago di sila makarelate kaya ibabalik ko na lang yung dati kong gimik. baka nest year gawin ko an yun.

pinauso to ni mio dati, pag wala syang maisip na worthy for the God's of the BLOGWORLD. isa pa, lumipat na kasi sila ng OZ kaya gusto niang makarelate at malaman ang mga bagay bagay dito sa pinas. anyway tapos na ang pag aabang. masyado ng mahaba ang intro ko. eto yun...

ASK ME 5 QUESTION. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN. KAHIT BASTOS, GAGO, PILOSOPO, BANGAG, KORNI, KONYO, TRIP TRIP LANG, SERYOSO, SHET, KALAMDO, IRITABLE, NGARAG NA TOPIC. KAHIT HINDI KO ALAM. ITANONG NIO NA. n holds barred. again. ILL ANSWER EACH QUESTION AS HONESTLY AS I CAN.

IN RETURN, I'LL ASK YOU JUST ONE QUESTION. AND I EXPECT AN HONEST ANSWER AS WELL

--->instruction:

1. you can ask me, just 5, so think of your questions very well.

2. you can ask me kahit paisa isa. pwede 2 ngayon. next week 2 ulit basta ang total ay 5.

3. eto lang ang bawal: itanong kung pwedeng MANGUTANG, MAKAHIRAM, HUMINGI, BUMALE o kahit anong patungkol sa PERA. dahil wala ako nun.

4. every end of the week ko sasagutin ang lahat ng tanong nio KAYA WAG KAYONG MAGTETEXT AT NGANGARAGIN AKONG SAGUTIN KAGAD NO!. ipupublish ko lahat ng ito. (kung wish niong hindi ko i-publish txt me lang)

5. HAVE FUN.

okey ba?!!

TANUNGAN NA!!!

annoying

2008-07-21T17:50:00.002+08:00

i just noticed, when i listened to my playlist on the way home last saturday, it was really very sad. full of break up song. some of the songs on the list are:
almost over you - sheena easton
running away - midnight hour
tears dry on their own - amy winehouse
stitches and burns - fra lippo lippi
dont speak - no doubt
go on girl - neyo
irreplaceable - beyonce
mata - mojofly

i swear i did not for the life of me meant the playlist to osound so heartbroken and sad. i may be heartbroken but im not sad. well, not that sad anymore. im happy! cant you tell?

+++

well, work wise im happy. the people i work with are nice, the place, the workload, everything, works for me. that's why i really dont want to be absent ever unless i really need to be. its been a while since i had this much fun with work. (i miss mobil 1!!!! )im usually burned out after two weeks of working. if i get used to my job, im dunzo.

oh yeah beofre i forget funny story at work, mr. eop has insisted on being serious with the whole eop giving us sanctions and whateves so... we have no choice. (besides the clients also wants us to follow eop coz yeah, they cant understand what we're saying) anyways, there, i have a cold last friday, (actually for the whole week) and i decided to be so maarte like in kris aquino way of speaking but a bit exagg, i asked ate ye about the situation regarding the email i just received so he asked his friend aaron from cs. so anyways he told her to tell me to tell the customer about the situation.

so in most exagg and annoying way, with my pointing finger sticking as i point and say in unison: "so... you're friend aaron from cs advised you, to advised me, to advise the customeeeeerrrrr to call customer service?" trust me im annoying last friday, everyone is planning to stab me in the back... (corny sa blog nung kwento dapat me aksyon, sa mga nagbabasa na kilala naman ako, imadyinin nyo na lang ung mga araw na ginagaya ko si kris... extra annoying kasi medyo ngo ngo yung english ko, tsaka parang negrang ang sarap batuhin sa mukha!! )

on a totally different part of the spectre, my birthday is coming!!!!!!!!!!! MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!!! im so excited!!! im so excited!!!

what am i gonna get myself???? whatwhatwhat???? new shoes? itouch? shirts? or maybe a new boyfriend?!!! ngek!!! wahahahhaah!!!!

+++

shout out to:
baby v!! amishu!!! textme textme!!!
jasms! warlords po! showing na!!! tsaka dark night! as usual 1st showing tayo kasi magulo na pag maraming tao bad trip!!! wahahahahaha!!!

your thoughts?

2008-07-13T19:00:00.005+08:00

ive been out of the blogosphere for so long (ngek! 2 weeks lang yata eh) i missed all the juiciest chika!! masyading bakla ang mensahe ko!

seriously. ive been sick. sick with either cold, cough, sore throat, and fever.

anyways... i've been meaning to buy a new gadget. im still confuse as to what i really want. im thinking in the lines of cellphones and/or mp3 players.

my choices are:

ipod touch

iphone

blackberry

anyways, i got a haircut
whatchathink?

birthdays birthdays and more birthdays

2008-06-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

i was reading a book last friday about how to "write" yourself, and i came upon a chapter where various students form the author's writing class, described how they celebrated their birthdays when they were younger.

one student wrote about her birthday, she said that her birthdays are never happy, sure she gets cake and candles but she never saw her dad genuinely smile, because the day she was born, was the day her mom died.

and another student wrote about leaving her natal birthday behind and celebrating her "self-birthday". she wrote about how she let 20 years to pass, letting herself to celebrate her birthday confused and imprisoned in lies. so a week after her 21st birthday she called her mom and told her, she's gay. after the phone call, she called all of her friends and told them they needed to celebrate her "self-day". she never felt more alive than ever.

so i came to thinking, when was the last time i celebrated my birthday that i was truly HAPPY?

i looked at photos and videos of my past birthdays and the last time i REALLY celebrated my natal day was on my 7th birthday. my lolo was alive, all the people that i love and love me are all there, i had fun and i can see it on my pictures. i had a huge birthday cake with 7 pink candles, i had my sister beside me blowing my candles, everyone was on festive mood, oh and i saw my relatives from abroad actually came home for my birthday.

the next years were a bunch of "blah-days", and the most that got to me was my 18th birthday, my so-called "coming-out" birthday... and i didnt even have a single picture.

but i still remember how i celebrated it, we celebrated my bday at ei's condo at noval, my mom and dad brought us spag and chicken and cokes (coca-cola you dirty ass you) i remember i only invited i think 7 or 6 people-issai, ei, niz, maki, mai and aji... or did i invite anyone else? whatever. it was a happy day. but not that grand.

and my next birthdays after that, i simply erased from memory. nothing special ever happened to me during my birthdays, its either im in school or im working.

so this year, i make it a point that i will celebrate my birthday, even if im alone. im gonna buy a birthday cake(the biggest i can afford), spaghetti and coke zero. and eat it all till i burst! i'll only do that if im alone, if not (hopefully, my bday falls on my rest day) im gonna buy a cake(the biggest i can afford), cook spaghetti and chicken, buy my fave flavor of ice cream, blast music, and dance till i drop to the floor with my family and friends!!!!

hello

2008-06-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

hello, its me again. yeah, i thought so too. nooooo... im still interested, but not right now. i have a lot of things going through my head.

yeah, it hurts, a lot, along with this one. i dont know why. i cant think of anything that its bothering me as of the moment, maybe its there. im just not aware of it.
i guess so.

i think it never left.

i think it never left.

...

well, i havent thought about it for a while, so how come it hurts?

yeah, its unfair for me to ask you that. yes, i know, you were never there, so couldnt answer me.

wait, you were there?

why didnt you tell? you've been hiding from me?

why?

oh.

i know, if i saw you, i would cry. i would breakdown. and you couldnt let me breakdown, you knew, that if that happens, my shell would be broken, and i would never regain that back.

thank you.

yes, i know.

next time you're there kick me a little so i know that you're there, but, dont take over that well okey?

i know, say hi to meany and happy for me, and to the rest of them there.

burned out

2008-06-14T22:40:00.003+08:00

hello father's day!!
father's day is here
and i am in the house.
happy father's day to your dads!!!

+++

another burned out moment. its a sickness really.
im tired of blogging.
maybe next week ill have the nerve to write another.

2008-06-07T22:51:00.005+08:00

i waaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnntttttttttttttttttttt one!!!!

photo by: jeremyville.com

jeremyville chucks

the list of yes

2008-06-01T23:18:00.004+08:00

yes i like/love...

fire engine red
a box of crayons
blueberry waffles
lomo camera
snorkel, goggles, fins and diving shoes
cotton candy
spicy spaghetti
gossip magazine
skinny jeans on fat legs
isopropyl alcohol
bright yellow wayfarer
chucks
siomai
dark chocolate
giant coloring book
bow bow
spade
stand up comedians
coffee
gloomy afternoons
johnny depp
mint
lazy mornings
smell of tapsi
project runway
U.S.T.
beach
the strokes
perez hilton
hi-ro
csi
pyrotechs
jun matsumoto
snow
tsinelas
darkness
long baths
mails
imogen heap
regina spektor
the killers
artic monkeys
carpets
visionaries/maskman
ghost fighter
vincent van gogh
walruses
hot milk before bedtime
OLONGAPO
mermaid
kafka on the shore
middlesex
snl
philosophy and dr. co
wonder boy crackers
piyaya
old school headphones
bob dylan
jim morrison
freddie mercury
led zeppelin/jethro tull
cheddar&sour cream flavored ruffles
talking
san mig super dry
talbos ng kamote
skulls&heart shoes
history
GOD
stalking
daydreaming
perezhilton.com
airconditioning systems
people watching
muscle cars
roller coasters
rainbows
male jackets/cropped jackets
laughing
blue berry muffins
chinese movies
albino python
flaming flamingo pink leggings
steaks
loose pony tails
sharon cuneta movies
contact prints
black and white films
close up toothpaste
bbq's
dentist
popping bubble wraps

.... more to come

virgo quirks and moving in

2008-05-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

my plan didnt pan out. the apt bldg that i was supposed to move into, got a little off schedule, instead of may, the date was moved to late june to early july, because of the weather. as you all know, in manila, it rains come 1pm or 2pm till night. so construction got delayed, and delayed and delayed and delayed.... so, i decided to postponed the move and not even look for a new apt. im busy with work and im sick as of friday. down with a flu and tonsilitis.

though, im feeling much better now, im still unable to taste or smell anything. this flu is taking the fun out of eating. i miss tasting food and smelling it. i ate my fave noodle earlier, and i cant even taste it!!!! waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

okey. back to reality. i had a marathon talk session again with ate janina. she was asking about the quirks and some gibberish about the mighty Virgos.

a virgo's quirks. i dont know about the others, but these are my quirks, as a virgo.

1. OC. as in Obsessive-compulsive. you get how we roll, like me, when i see something, like a shirt, i'll buy, every color i could possibly find on that shirt.

2. neat freaks. i like everything neat. clean. spotless. no questions asked.

3. organize. we like order. atleast i do. i even color coordinate my closet. my bed sheet to my pillowcase, comforter and blanket. not to mention ng robe and bath towel.

4. last laugh. i always have to have the last laugh or word.

5. practical. im practical. i dont buy things or get/do things without a higher purpose. everything has to have a reason.

whats your zodiac quirks?

wedding dress

2008-05-18T21:27:00.003+08:00

no, not for me. not now atleast. was watching some show on discovery travel and living earlier with the mom, it was a wedding show of some sort. a mom was passing down her wedding gown to her daughter, and they gave it to a seamstress/designer to "re-work" it, in the words of christian siriano, make it fierce and fabulous! whatever.

so nweiz, i asked my mom about her wedding dress, and she said she had none. she just wore a simple white dress, when they got married. well, i know that mom and dad got married in city hall and they got married again in church, what i didnt know is that she didnt wear a gown! i always thought that she dressed up for the occassion.

she said that they did get married in church but it was just the two of them. and the priest and his assistants. no one else present. so she just wore a dress and my dad wore that bell bottom jeans i simply wanted to shred to pieces and a white polo.

wow. i was sad and disheartened yet deeply touched by the story.

it was supposed to be the most special day in a woman's life to have wedding and to wear a wedding gown, and my mom didn't get a chance to have that. yet, it was so intimate and personal and heartfelt. to have someone you truly love to be there. just the two of you there. present. all in the eyes of God. to present just the both of you together. no other people. more personal.

my mom said, she wouldnt change any of it. she doesn't want a grand or lavish wedding, just the two of them together is enough to make her happy. and its okey for her not to wear a wedding dress, just as long as she has a wedding ring. a band the symbolizes their love. a wedding dress doesnt say a thing to her.

wow. another wow. and another wow. i never looked at wedding that way. when i get married i'll probably do the same thing, except, i'll wear a wedding dress, and ivited prolly like 15-25 people. just the people that really matter to the both of us.

grand and lavish weddings are just ways of socializing, or in a lot of cases, a way to showcase the riches and money shits that people have. the thought of celebrating your most intimate moment in your life, with people you dont know, smiling and taking pictures with people you just met. i hate that. it'll give me a pained expression of happiness and disbelief. with the thought of "i dont know this people, why are they here? can they even remember my name without reading it from the invite?"

haha.

its raining and you've got nothing better to do - think of koseidon

2008-05-17T22:06:00.004+08:00

or write or blog or whatever.

rainy season has always been my favorite. no stingy sun rays, no sweating, no b.o. from other peeps, no greasy arms in public transpo, no scurrying to the nearest mall to get cooled off, no more over priced shakes or sundaes. ha!

its nice to lie in bed all day and curl up with a good book.

but i tend to stay in front of the computer look at stuff and answer random question from people i dont know, and read other people's blog.

for lack of better post here, i took a survey/whatever it is they call this on friendster and answer...

--> lightbulb <-- while im answering this, i had a sudden burst of japanikido idea! i suddenly remembered koseidon!!! and humming to its theme song right now!!

When I'm drunk, I tend to ...laugh like a hyena

Shots or beers? ... both

Do you have drinking buddies? ... nah, sumasama lang ako pag may nagyayaya

What color of shirt are you wearing? ... white with green leaf/clover design

Name three things that are physically close to you: ... tv remote, cp, pc

Are you or were you a good student? ... hell yeah!

Do you enjoy sleeping late? ... sometimes, hassle lang gumising minsan

Who tells the best jokes? ... ako pwede?, rex navarette

What was the last thing you dreamed about? ... crying while on board to canada (the reason is beyond me...)

Do you believe in karma? .. yes.

Do you believe in luck? ... no

Do you like eggs scrambled or sunny side up? ... scrambled. malansa yung egg yolk pag puro

Are you proud of yourself? ... hmm... ewan

Are you reliable? ... pwede na rin, depende kung ano yung issue

Have you ever had a secret admirer? ... ewan, wala siguro

Do you like the smell of gasoline? ... hinde.

Do u like to draw? ... yes

Is your room messy? ... not in a million years

What do you like better: oranges or apples? ... pareho

Are you a good guesser? ... secret

Can you read other people's expressions ... uhu

Are you a bully? ... yes! guilty! pag sinabi ko NO yari ako!

Do you have a job? ... sadly yes. amp!

What time did you wake up this morning and why?? ... never slept, marathon tsikahan with ate janina eh

What did you eat for breakfast this morning? ... hot milk and fresh rain water ahahaha!

What do you plan on doing tomorrow? ... go to church and sound trip all day!!

What's your favorite day of the week and why? ... friday!!

Do you have any nicknames? ... dimple, pappon, poleng

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who? ... wala im pretty pre-occupied with non living things to think of someone alive

Do you enjoy challenges? ... ewan.

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to? ... my sis in baguio

What's your favorite school subject? ... advance bio and genetics

What's your least favorite school subject? ... M-A-T-H

Would you rather have money or love? ... both. tae!

Do you miss anyone right now? ... nah. wala

Do you need to do laundry? ... no.

Do you listen to the radio? ... sang to every song

Who was the last person to make you laugh? ... ung babae sa divi

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? ... chocolate chip cookie dough

If you wanted to be in a band, what would you be? ... drummer or vocalist

What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? ... wala

Do you want to live with your gf/bf forever? ... no, i need space

Where is the place you want to be right now? ... sa six flags or sa epcot!! roller coaster!!!

What song are you listening to? ... theme song ng koseidon

If you were given the chance to show your talent on stage, what would it be? ... kumain ng apoy!

who's your crush? ... si ano, si... oo sya na nga!!!

What movie/s made you cry? ... wala pa naman, i dont watch sappy movies

Name famous people you had a crush on? ... yun lang! si JOHNNY DEPP!

What are your favorite drinks? ... natural distilled drinking water

Which cartoon characters are your favorite? ... daria, mandy from the grim adventures of billy and mandy

Last time you went shopping? ... kaninang tanghali! DIVISORIA!!! DIVISORIA!!!

+++

to jog your memory of koseidon, eto... ung pix nia at mga alipores nia

dirty little secret

2008-05-16T14:25:00.001+08:00

they know. they know.

my dirty little secret.

for all of you who heard me talk on the phone, you all know i sound very different. very different indeed. i sound like a sickly sweet sugar on acid, and you need to take a couple of insulin shots to calm your nerves after hearing me.

well, they know. and they were shocked! SHOCKED!!!

the guys weren't expecting the girly child-like voice would ever come out on a big tough chick like me. and because of that, i've been the butt of all jokes.

KADIRI.

but i can't help it. i really do sound like that.

is it just me? its just me.

2008-05-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

im still having jitters from the past weeks happening. as you guys remember i told you about my new wave that im the only girl, (well now, we're 2. thank God) we had an extemporaneous speech for our esl class, and the topic i got was the shitiest ever. "do you believe in love at first sight? why or why not?" i said AMP*** out loud. and you know, when i say curses out loud, its really loud! good thing sam milby look-alike jason was the only trainer in the room. whew. we're kindda buddies eh. we're actually more at ease with jason around. some are a little uptight. anyways.

it's supposed to be a SPEECH. a SPEECH. not a question and answer portion. i got grilled on the spot and up to now, im still getting grilled. because i only manage to answer, "no, i dont fall for a piece of eye candy." after that i got bombarded with questions after questions. taena! nasabi ko tuloy, "baket ba? wag nio na lang alamin, dahil hindi ko rin alam! basta mangyayari un pag nangyari yun!" after that i got to thinking... what do i really look for in a guy?

whenever i think about what happened to me in the past, the only thing that came to mind was, whenever i develop a crush on someone, we always have a good conversation for weeks/months. and all of the crushes that i had became/already my good friends.

so i think. conversation is the key to my heart.

we should be able to converse about anything and everything under the sun. i'd appreciate it more if you could tell me a thing or two about a topic/subject i dont know. introduce me to a world i haven't been before. and you should never EVER pretend you know everything about a certain topic because i can tell. and lastly it doesnt matter if you're cute, or handsome or dashing, whether you're buff or not. physical beauty fades. and i dont need anything that's temporary.

its just a plus if you're an eye candy.

+++

and not to forget. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOMS IN THE WORLD!!!!

specially the BEST MOM in the WORLD!

I LOVE YOU MOM!!

10 irkable people on public transport

2008-05-10T21:05:00.002+08:00

because of my weird hobby of people watching, i came up with 10 categories of 'irkable' people, those you cannot and i mean CANNOT by all means stand!

i know i cant, but hey, maybe you can. i hope you can recognize some of these people... enjoy

1. Guys with bitin shirts. not just bitin shirts but also those wearing skintight/pitis shirts and pants. they're not really that irkable, but they pinch a little nerve here and there. i just cant stand seeing some guys, waering one size smaller clothes, i would understand if its a girl, but on a guy its just plain nasty. it doesnt look good on them and im the one feeling the discomfort that comes with wearing those shirts/pants.

2. chismosas. man! these people i really cant stand. specially if you're really tired and going cross country on a bus and the people behind you cant stop yakking and yakking about people they hate and people they envy not to mention the megavolume of their screechy voices. do something more productive and conducive to society, instead of bashing other people behind their back.

3. crying babies. not that i hate babies and all, but sometimes you just really want to put a lid on the kid's mouth to stop him from crying. its like ringing hard on my ears whenever i hear a wailing baby, its irritating. with their never seeming to care parents that lets their babies cry all they want.

4. over pda couples. i mean cmon! i know you love each other very much, but you dont need to show the whole world how much you love each other by smothering each other with kisses and giggling and touching, making other people squirm. besides, its bad for a girls rep, people will think you're 'easy'.

5. senoir complainer. isnt it that the more a person gets older, the more mature he gets? i think here its the other way around. whenever i see a senior cit in public transport, they cant stop complaining whether its the way the driver maneuvers the bus/jeep or the aircon's thermostat. the oldies should be mature and not use their being old to get their way.

6. gumchewerstickwherever. these people are shits. they stick their gum wherever and the next thing you know, you got it on your shoe, pants, bag, hair, shirt etc. if i ever catch one on public transport, i'll personally cut out his tongue and stick on his chair with his gum.

7. cologne bather. specially if im on an airconditioned bus. damn! these people are so lazy taking a REAL bath, they resort to overpowering cologne shit. its suffocating and nauseaus.

8. feeling-friends. they're not that bad as the rest, but sometimes we need a little elbow room to breath in a not well ventelated area. its bad enough to have someone talk to you about people you dont know and couldn't careless but asked you to do the same thing? um, i dont think so.

9. IgotanIPODyoudont. i hope these people tear their eardrums already. we know you have an ipod you dont have to flaunt it, by blasting its volume louder than the bus's radio.

10. mega-low rise jeans. the sight of other people's butt-crack is enough to make me hurl. have some decency. have some self respect.

7-11 diet

2008-05-09T04:50:00.002+08:00

im on a 7-11 diet. not by choice but by fate. because i live near a 7-11 store with no serious carinderia or fast food resto in sight or for the radius of 5 kms, i am left with 7-11 as my basic food provider.

i have virtually tasted every food offered/sold by 7-11. everything. im gonna die of preservatives, infrared heat by microwaves and synthetic meat and veggies. i feel my stomach muscles are churning out acids and burning my insides. slowly but surely.

i need to eat real food. give me real food. REAL FOOD.

please....

a HANA KIMI experience

2008-05-03T21:16:00.004+08:00

aha! i dont know why these things always happen to me. in both of my work, i'm always surrounded by guys, from my previous comp, my barkada are guys, because the half of my barkada which consist of girls were transferred to the other wave, i was left with the guys. and now, my new job, and new wave, no joke. only girl. 24 people, 23 boys, 1 girl. huwaw!

the first day, i stuck out like a sore thumb, because i was only one with long hair, not to mention breast.

'twas ok for me, im used to being around guys all the time, my kada's in elem and high school are all barako. my cousins are mostly male. because i only have 3 female cousins. im close to my dad and lolo.

its actually fun, i think i gained 23 instant KUYA's in one day! ahahaha!!!

some think im lucky because im surrounded by guys, yeah i am, they're my brothers. i do not look at them as potential love interest, i look at them as family. they're easy to talk to, not bashing any one, and i finally have some people to talk to about on line gaming, rock music, absurd movies, old school cartoons!!! everything!!

hahaha!!!

asteg! btw, my girl na ulit, 2 na kaming babae sa wave.

what the hell is SO wrong with blogging?

2008-04-26T22:35:00.003+08:00

blogging has evolve and became very diverse. it started out as a journal, just a journal. a place where you can pour your heart out. now blogging became many things, an advertising medium, a hate letter, a popularity contest and whatever it is you want and percieve it to be.

blogging has blown way out of proportions. people are criticizing it, chasticising it... i say what the fuck do you people care?!

if you dont like what you see, you're SOOOO free to not look at it, or even read it. but good Lord dont try to banish it from cyberspace. you're taking the bloggers right to express him/herself. and besides its a futile attempt to silence the blogger, because if you "ever" successfully 'shut it down', the blogger can simply sign up for it again and made a new blog. there's no stopping free speech.

because blogging is a way for people like me/us, to express ourselves in this hypocritical world of ours. its a way to relieve ourselves of the pain, pressure and stress that we feel inside. blogging is therapeutic for us, because we cant afford to pay for a therapist to listen to us rant, and we do not want to burden our friends or family who has problems of their own, or sometimes they are the subject of our frustrations.

if you find it very unappealing or even offensive, then stop going back and reading each entries. AGAIN, i must insist on the point that THIS IS A JOURNAL. whatever it is that's written here, are personal, defensive and offensive at the same time.

if we chose to show our feelings to the world, dont judge us, we're just being TRUE. we are not hiding anything, we are merely letting out the evil lurking inside of us. AGAIN, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, STOP READING IT.

this is a blog. a journal. a diary.

if the person writing in the blog bashes another person or what, its his/her way of blogging.

as for brian gorell, the man who made blogging oh-so-controversial i love his BLOG!!! its his blog. his right. his last chance to reclaim what is rightfully his, in the first place, and if blogging is the last resort that he has, then by all means blog! bloggers like me support you!
TEAM BRIAN PHILIPPINES!

ms. independent. ngeee

2008-04-25T14:36:00.002+08:00

tudud. tudud. tudud.

okey now. isang buwan. one month to go, i'll be living the single life. no more living in dorms, no more bed spacing, no more living with relatives and family friend. its all on-my-own for me now. hopefully, if things run smoothly and according to plan, by may, i'll be living on my own in manila. libis or pasig is the location. its not a condo unit ha? wala akong ganong pera, apt lang, studio type. pwede na, meron akong nakita sa may libis, actually yung pinsan ko, malapit 1 ride away sa workplace ko, sa tiendesitas, sm pasig, gateway, araneta, at walking distance lang sa eastwood. woohooo! masaya to! di na sya living in commune, living alone na sya. kaya ma-e-excercise ang aking plastic. syempre bibili ako ng ref, industrial fan, tsaka stove, ung laptop ko, malapit ng mabili ung laptop na sony vaio pink/red kung ano available, pero gusto ko rin ung sa dell, ung red series nila. bahala na. its all up to it specs. research on it more.

pero im super excited na! gusto ko ng magkaroon ng sarili kong apt. rakenrol!!!

invited kayo sa housewarming ko! [pagdating ng araw] hahaha!

opera!

2008-04-24T18:34:00.003+08:00

whew. parang napagod ako sa kakatype ah. eh iilang words pa lang natatype ko. anyways, i bruised my left pinky kahapon. because of some stupidity. ang sakit nia, in all fairness. ahahah!

well, earlier i was thinking of blogging about my grandma's pancake but as i sat here, while watching AI tanggalan night. naalala ko kagabi rocked! ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER night!!! yes!!! who hadn't heard of ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER!!! sir ANDREW! i tell yah! if i ever get to new york city, broadway st, i'll definitely - DEFINITELY spend many hours watching musicals. i watched hairspray and rent on dvd, i liked it, but i bet i LOVE the THEATER performance better. im a fan of theater. and theater acting is more raw and definitely not all can pull it off. that's why i have great respect of theater actors.

if i ever get a chance i would really watch these:

CATS - i was able to watch a few snippets of these performance through discovery channel
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
RENT
HAIRSPRAY
THE COLOR PURPLE
LION KING
JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR

and before we part dearies, i'll give you one of my fave song from SIR ANDREW

No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Christine
Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Raoul
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

Christine
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Raoul
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from you solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Christine
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.

Together
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Christine
Say you love me...

Raoul
You know I do.

Together
Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Anywhere you go let me go too

Love me...
that's all I ask of you.

*hope y'all love it. its gonna be one of the songs at my wedding. when i get married.

10 things you dont know about me

2008-04-23T19:36:00.004+08:00

wala lang, natutuwa lang akong sabihin to senyo. di naman sya importante, pero keber ba! blog ko to eh

10. HINDI ako kumakain ng maitim, kahit anong maitim, na tipong di ko na nakikita kung karne o gulay ba yung isusubo ko. seryoso. kaya di ako kumakain ng dinuguan, champorado etc. etc.

9. i kill people in my head. if my tally is correct, i've killed 463 people already, and tortured and kept alive 10 people for my pleasure. i visit them in my head before i go to sleep. ha!

8. my limit in beer is 7 bottles. when i get to my 8th bottle, i start to swerve and sway to 70's disco music in my head.

7. i cannot eat with mismatched spoon and fork. since we were kids we we're trained to eat with matching silverware, glass and plate. we're not rich we just like order.

6. i sleep with 7 pillows. 2 for my head, 2 on each side of the bed to act as a barrier, 1 for my hampalan [the pillow you hug at night. bakit 7? kasi gusto ko yung feeling na nararamdaman ko lahat na may katabi ako kunwari, kasi feeling ko secure ako.

5. when people tell me things, i pretend i forget so they tell me again, so i can daydream while they're talking.

4. too much caffeine and sobrang init ng ulo [i.e. asar galit inis] are the main cause of my migraine. shet!

3. i change name everytime i meet people, so when people yell my fake name in public, i dont look or pretend i dont hear them.

2. my favorite curse word is LECHE.

1. im rendered powerless in the presence of horrendous odours. may it be, halitosis, feces, imburnal, pozo negro! basta! lahat ng mababaho, tiklop ako!

now you know 10 things about me. what about you?

whatwhat?!!!

2008-04-22T18:32:00.004+08:00

ha! hell yeah! electric blue nail polish! rakenrol!

arent you happy with people that when you ask a certain question makes you think of the bigger picture on why he/she said that?

example, when you ask someone whats your fave color, vanilla people will just say, red, blue, green whatever... but when you ask those chocolate chip cookie dough peepz whats their fave color, they'll answer flamingo pink, hot rod fire engine red, california sunset orange. diba? more rakenrol ang mga taong to! parang gusto ko silang makilala pa!

this people are creative and imaginative pare... parang they live in a multi-colored 70's mellow pot smoke world. cool.

adik sayo. adik sa atin.

ung friend ko from manila, sabi nia sakin sa text,

"alam mo adik ka sa mint... ano ba meron sa mint?"

sabi ko

"malamig. ewan, masarap mint eh."

"shet, ano masarap ron?"

"well, mint candies, mint chocolates, mint chocolate chip cookies, mint ice cream, mint ice tea, mint cake, mint puto, mint corn chips, mint potato chips, mint foot scrub, mint facial scrub, mint gum, mint water, mint t-shirt..."

"leche. mint."

eh masarap naman talaga yung mint eh, and i read somewhere that too much mint can leave you 'chidless' fuck that. pake ko.

duck tales and jologs days

2008-04-21T17:34:00.002+08:00

isang malaking WOW!

ang tagal ko ring di nkpagblog! busy kasi akong maging jologs eh. wahahahaha. LOL! ineenjoy ko lang at sinusulit ang summer bago ako bumalik sa trabaho. tama na ang 1 month na pabandying bandying. tama na. kailangan ko nang kumita ng pera, kailangan ko ng pagbigyan ang mga bisyo ko! ahahahha!!

hay pag nagsimula na ako sa monday mamimiss ko na ang pbb, ghost fighter [never grew tired of this], eat bulaga!, cartoon network, movies sa hbo at cinemax. hay... pero life must go on eh. kaya sori na lang ako.

my kuya called last night. around 12 na yata sya tumawag para lang sabihin that the chucks i bought like 3 months ago sa factory outlet nila dito sa subic, was just released sa mega!!! wahahaha!!! napaglumaan ko na yung design!!! in your face fellow chuck addicts!

oh yeah before i forgot, was on my way home last thursday i think, or was it wednesday.... whatever. nweiz sa harap ako pinaupo ng dispatcher, reserved seat pare! okey, yun, we we're cruisin' along nlex, tas mga ewan 400 yards away nakita namin yung mga ducks [nakalimutan ko nanaman ang tagalog ng duck leche] patawid sa expressway!! wtf! eh alanganamang magmenor si manong, eh nasa expressway kami and we're going like 100kph, so nasagasaan ang mga duck. siguro mga 2 o 3 silang nasagasaan, sumabit pa! shet. kawawang mga duck.

uaap classic

2008-04-14T21:32:00.002+08:00

naalala ko lang, habang nanunuod ako uaap classic replay nung sunday, ang dami ko palang namiss sa araneta. leche. games at cheerdance. bukod sa mahirap kumuha ng pesteng ticket sa kahit ano mang cheerdance competition, mahirap rin ang kumuha ng ticket para sa game ng tigers. taena. kailangan sa cheerdance ngayong 2008, kailangan!!! kundi papatay ako ng pikon! ahahahha

nakakasawa ang pag ibig

2008-04-11T21:52:00.002+08:00

napapansin ko, maxadong seryoso ang mga entries ko. kaya babawan natin, hahaha.. di naman. nakakaloka lang.

ang hirap pala talaga ng pressure no. sabi ng mom ko, may bf naman daw ako.. dahil ako na lang sa lahat ng kabataan dito sa pamilya namin ay may 'pinagkakaabalahan'. eh ayoko eh. ayoko. hindi dahil sa walang may gusto, kundi sa kadahilanang ayoko na.

nakakapagod magmahal. lalo na pag matagal na kayo pagkatapos ay mag hihiwalay lang kayo. kahit gaano mo iningatan at minahal yung tao, wala rin. napakalaking emotional stress ng isang relationship. malaking emotional investment ang inilalaan mo, pero ano? nauuwi lang lahat sa wala. yung akala mong sya na, buo na ang loob mong SIYA na nga, biglang mawawala.

nakakatwa nga eh, anong alam ng isang tulad ko? isang 21 year old sa relationship? kung tutuusin bata pa ako, marami pa akong mararanasan... marami pa akong makikilala... pero bakit ang bilis kong mapagod? ewan. hindi ko alam. siguro nga, dapat hindi ako nadadala sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko, dapat ituloy ko to.

hindi ko kasi binibilang kung ilan na ang 'pinagkaabalahan' ko eh. its not in the quantity, its in the quality. kahit ba isa o 2 lang sila sa buhay ko, basta alam kong totoo yun, okey na ako. hay.

siguro iba lang talaga ako.

sana pagdating nia, sya na talaga. sya na. wala ng iba.

love means renouncing strength

- milan kundera, the unbearable lightness of being

review-rave-rant = review

2008-04-06T00:09:00.001+08:00

my director of the moment-probably forever

as you read the title, im writing about my favorite director of the moment, probably forever.

the rawness and the intensity was clearly interpreted throughout the film. the naturalism of human nature was so exquisitely real to me that i second guessed, if the film that im watching was actually a raw footage of these tribe with cameras trailing behind them or a real hollywood movie. the emotions all throughout was conveyed in a very dynamic and tortured level of intimacy and awe that i was captivated.

the creativity of it all, the storytelling, the gore, the history, superbly translated to film.

i especially like the part where jaguar paw was pushed to his limits. you can see it in his eyes the longing for the freedom and his family and the willingness to survive was so intense that you'd feel your own heart pounding from stress and restlesness.

and another was the bloodshed of the film itself. yes, it was gorry, but then again, it was REAL. it wasn't as overpoweringly gross like some horror films, it was done magnificently and tastefully, point in case, the part where the jaguar lunged to the tribeman and totally tore his face off. that happens. that may actually happened in those times. nature in its purest and bravest form. brilliant!

the part that endeared me the most was the birth-ing of jaguar paw's son. torturingly beautiful. i am actually lost for adjectives for this scene. it is overwhelming.

and who am i referring to?

its the dark and tortured soul of the creative genius that is MEL GIBSON.

make more films... films that inspires, films that move. films that doesnt have the hollywood flair. films that potrays the rawness of human and animal nature. thank you for the passion. thank you for the geniosity. thank you for these films: The Passion of the Christ and Apocalypto.

25 years of forbidden kingdom

2008-04-05T23:28:00.003+08:00

kung may pera lang ako bibilhin ko ang bagong album ni MJ, at panonoorin ko sa sine ang bagong pelikula ni Jackie Chan at Jet Li! ano ba yun?! ASTEEEEGGG tsong! im sure magiging 2nd favorite chinese movie ko to of all time!!! syempre numero uno es The Curse of the Golden Flower!!! wwwwaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

phat

2008-03-31T22:44:00.002+08:00

i remember the time that i blogged about being fat and being told by alot of people, some i dont even know that 'i would be beautiful, if i werent fat', and remembered feeling so disgusted and so angry at how shallow these people were, for saying those things to me, that i resorted to laugh so hard because i pitied them for being so indiscreet about how they feel towards me.
and whenever i remember that time, i just feel so frustrated, because alot of people still feel that beauty is always associated with being skinny. that being accepted in this day and age for being fat? is as far long as the the first amphibian evolved into a land animal.
no matter how we try, or preach or propagate positive ads about being fat, chubby or horizontally challenge, people still cannot find it in their hearts to look deeper into the person before saying things to them.
and i am slowly getting tired of telling people to "beuaty is only skin deep."
if i ever get another "compliment" like that again, i'll just shot back and say "put a sock in it, assface!"

being skinny is not being perfect ir pretty, being skinny is being skinny.

a cacophony of sorts

2008-03-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

a cacophony... wala lang... ang talino nung dating ng title eh. kakaaliw. isa pa namimiss ko na ang mga high faluting words na yan na sa college papers ko lang nagagamit.isa pa if i talk to someone using english words such as the one i used in my title, i fear that i would cause a sudden gush of blood from the nostrils of the person i am speaking with. ha! tama na.

in other news, tomorrow will be the WORLD EARTH DAY. we will have an hour of power interruption GLOBALLY, to raise awareness about the massive deterioration of our planet and the carelessness of human beings. bout time dangnamit! this not some heroes-shit about save the cheerleader save the world bull! this is serious business! we really need to save the world. we dont have anywhere else to go if this planet suddenly goes kaboom! we need to reuse, reduce and dangnamit recycle! RECYCLE! so if you ever see Paris Hilton going up and about in LA or wherever part of the world she's in, drive her to the nearest recycling plant, we should really recycle plastic more often. maybe we could make out something more productive to society than lolling around flashing everyone with your VV.. haha!! just kidding! i love paris hilton! she makes my day so... whats the word im looking for??? uhm.... entertaining!

in other unrelated paragraph, i just remembered something about food. we always associate food with memory right? or atleast in my case. because we travelled all the way to san fernando, pampanga earlier to buy some sweets and uraro and taba ng alimango and pastillas etc. for pasalubong for our kamag - anak in the states. so, my sister who loves pastillas and anything creamy ate in one sitting like 5 packets of pastillas. and i just sat there beside her staring as she gobbles up piece by piece like she just discovered the wonderful world of disneyland. and out of the blue i remembered way back 1999 or 2000 i think, we were sitting on the dining room, across from each other and i was just looking at her, concocting her own version of yema. she did it in a theatrical way like i was an audience and she's a chef.
when she finished, she offered some to me, and to the rest of the clan but no one dared to take a bite. she wasnt disappointed or anything, but she was quite happy that no one liked it but her... (greedy monster! ehehe) so for the last 24 hours she ate her yema every minute. she finished it! the whole friggin' bowl! if you've been to our house you'd know which bowl im talking about... anyway yeah she finished it. the next day... she had a bad case of the numbah 2! she got LBM from eating too much! haha! she was so smug about making her own yema and finishing it all!! the whole house was laughing so hard! hahahaha!!! i still laugh whenever i remember that. hay.

new age mantra

2008-03-26T00:52:00.000+08:00

i refuse to wallow in pain
i refuse to suffer because of him
he is NOT worth it
i am pretty and smart and talented
i DESERVE better
so much better!

for the 7 month/year itch/curse.

i miss the beach...

this is how you complement a lady

2008-03-24T00:00:00.003+08:00

"my wife taught me how to be a man,
and a lot of other things i thought i knew,
i was about 68% of a man, when my wife came,
she taught me how to be a 100% man... i love her"

- Tom Hanks on the Oprah Show

this is the life

2008-03-23T00:06:00.003+08:00

there is nothing like early morning relaxation in a hammock, with the breeze cradling you.

eye candies, tattoos and a lot more

2008-03-19T23:30:00.015+08:00

i refuse to wallow in pain and misery. and i refuse to let other people know about what happened/happening to me. i refuse. so instead im gonna showcase here the things that are running in my head. first of, my crushes, yes plural, i have lots, and im not gonna hold back... im gonna show you people my crushes since i can remember! hahaha!! brace your self!

forever crush:
cmon! who doesnt LOVE ♥♥ the hotness that is JOHNNY DEPP! whether he's rugged, dirty, perv, cleancut, i love him!! I ♥♥♥♥♥ him!

pretty boy crush:
hay... jun matsumoto. mas maganda sya sakin!!! waaaaaaaahhhhh!!! whatever. i still ♥ him.

bad boy crush:
danny messer! csi ny hottie!

as of now crush:
who is not inlove with this guy right now? no one. hay... i want a makulet na lovelife. hahahaha!!!

+++

tattoo. i've been contemplating on getting a tattoo of a cherry blossom on my arm, yes, my whole right arm. it would consist a branches and cherry blossoms, with initials of my relatives and friends. like a memorial tattoo for those who passed away. every time a person close to my heart dies, i would inked a cherry blossom on my arm in his/her memory. for now, im gonna put that dream on hold, when i told my parents about it, this is their exact reply "sige, pa-tattoo ka, pag dating mo dito, nakahanda na yung kutsilyo at tatalupan kita..." diba???! supportive parents!

+++

slum booking-buking!

THE LETTER A
Are you available?: yes. finally.
What is your age?: 20
What annoys you?: waiting, sweat, hot sun

THE LETTER B
Do you live in a big house?: Nah.
When is your birthday?: 08.31.1986
Who is your best friend?: paula

THE LETTER C
What's your favorite candy?: reese's peanut buttercups. meiji black choco
Who's your crush?: just look up.
When was the last time you cried?: i have yet to cry.

THE LETTER D
Do you daydream?: uh... yeah!
What's your favorite kind of dog?: i want a blue coated chow-chow and a collie
What day of the week is it?: thursday

THE LETTER E
How do you like your eggs?: overturned
Have you ever been in the emergency room?: yes
What's the easiest thing ever to do?: stare blankly into space

THE LETTER F
Have you ever flown in a plane?: yes
Do you use fly swatters?: not anymore

THE LETTER G
Do you chew gum?: yes
Are you a giver or a taker?: giver and taker
Do you like gummy candies?: yes

THE LETTER H
How are you?: never better
What color is your hair?: Brown

THE LETTER I
What's your favorite ice cream?: i ♥ chocochipcookies ice cream
Have you ever ice skated?: yes

THE LETTER J
What's your favorite jelly?: blueberry
Do you wear jewelry? nope

THE LETTER K
Who do you want to kill?: a lot of people
Do you want kids?: im sticking with 6

THE LETTER L
Are you laid back?: laid-back is an understatement
Do you lie?: yes

THE LETTER M
What's your favorite movie?: right now its ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
Do you like mangoes?: yeah all types!

THE LETTER N
Do you have a nickname?: yes, julai, jules, dimple, pappon, poleng
Whats your favorite number?: 6
Do you prefer night over day?: night

THE LETTER O
What's your one wish?: Nothing bad happens to my family.
Are you an only child?: nah

THE LETTER P
What one fear are you most paranoid about?: something bads gonna happen after being so happy
What personality trait you look for in people?: honesty and frankness...

THE LETTER Q
What's your favorite quote?: Nobody is perfect but parts of me are excellent

THE LETTER R
Do you think you're always right?: No

THE LETTER S
Do you prefer sun or rain?: rain

THE LETTER T
What time is it?: 1:06 am
What time did you wake up?: past 10
When was the last time you slept in a tent?: grade 6, GSP camping trip

THE LETTER U
Are you wearing underwear?: Of course!

THE LETTER V
What's the worst veggie: AMPALAYA!!! yuck!
Where do you want to go on vacation?: Siargao, palawan, aspen, ottawa

THE LETTER W
What's your worst habit?: staring blankly into space
Where do you live?: sa lugar na bawal ang tamad! OLONGAPO CITY!
What's your worst fear?: failure

THE LETTER X
Have you ever had an x-ray?: yup
Have you seen the x-games?: no
Do you own a xylophone?: when i was a kid, was never good at it

THE LETTER Y
Do you like the color yellow?: opkors!
What's one thing you yearn for?: go back in time

THE LETTER Z
What's your zodiac sign?: virgo
Do you believe in the zodiac?: nah! i had a bad case of zodiac diarrhea!
Favorite zoo animal?: tigers! ROAR!

wtf.

2008-03-18T13:08:00.002+08:00

after holy week i'll be a busy bee again. im finally going to file/check/process my papers, that i've been putting off for quite some time now. i dont know what will happen to me, or how much money i need to process that damn papers. if i listened to my parents earlier, they would've shouldered the expenses for me. now im on my own. blech. where am i gonna go? i dont know. canada? im not sure. sanfo? what am i gonna do there? vegas?? and be with tita? hardly. hay... im not sure.

+++

there are times im regretting the fact that i quit my job, but whenever i think of the reason why i quit, the only reason that i can think of, is the people i left behind. that's it. i would've been miserable and pitying myself till now if i stayed. so i guess im good. the lack of money in my pocket right now, doesnt even bother me one bit. so i guess im still good.

mobil1... i dont know what to say. for someone whose very talkative, im lost for words.

+++

EMBASSY EMBASSY EMBASSY!!! THE GUCCI GANG!!! wtf? ahahaha!!

+++

and to pacman!! congrats!!! one hell of a fight!! i watched it live!!! though i still think marquez should win! but what the heck?! what do i know!

.

2008-03-15T21:31:00.002+08:00

up to now, i still cannot think of anything to say to my friends.
it's really hard to say goodbye.

my goodbye - part 1.

2008-03-08T22:48:00.004+08:00

it took me a week to finally decide to quit my job. i weigh it down meticulously. like any normal decision making. and from what i point out, being in love with the people you are working with, is really not enough reason for me to stay. i do love them dearly but they are not going to make my performance better or my whole working state bearable.

if im not happy, im not going to be able to enjoy working, not being able to give my 110% to my job is unfair. for me, the company, and especially the people im serving.

i have come to love my job, loathe it, and love it again. but this time around, even if i love it, i must step back and let it go. i know it has given me a ton of opportunities, chest overflowing with wonderful memories, and a chockful of friends whom i considered as family (spending time with them more than spending time with my blood family) and of course how can i forget a truckload of goodies. i know that everything will change. i know that a lot of people will be dissapointed with me and my decision, (for some have tried to dissuade me from quitting) but i have set my mind. i have decided.

im making this move not just for myself, but for my family. my health, my physical and mental state.

i will never forget the people, the experience, the language, even the place.

all of you will be forever etched here ..... in my heart. whether you made my life miserable you are here. i love you guys... TAE.

to lpeteers:
2 weeks lasted for months.
though only a handful of us stayed in etelecare, we never forgot where and how we really started. giddy and nervous fresh grads and of course comebacking mothers for work looking stupidly beyond the batcave oggling the makati based agents, chatting and dreaming that one day, we'll proudly walk along the hallways of etelecare flashing a big grin on new applicants while wearing the 'then' coveted etel id. what losers we were back then. hahaha!! to you guys, mommy susan, cindy, juicy, pao, mike, tin, leonard, wowie and regie... im proud of all of you for continuing the battle. stay strong. dont go on awol. im just a text away. and before i forget, precious, nen and of course owie. thank you my schwa goddesses of language! hahaha!

to techpets!:
again another friggin' 2 weeks! though some of the time we're bewildered and confuse often caught saying... "ano ba tong pinasok naten?"
meeting new people, though we started out as ignorants shoved with memory modules and mobos, everyday was a happy day. to my ne found friends on techpet, jay, maja, remy, star, chris, aster, rico, george, koray, and anna. even though we started out badly, we ended up great. WE ROCK! CONQUER THE TECHWORLD WITH HIGH REGARD FOR YOURSELVES! basta ang inuman sa kalsada ituloy yan. nga pala! hi kay trainer allan!

to clientspec-tators/wave 7/tuesday group:
ito ang barkada. disclaimer muna, kaya tagalog na to kasi baka makantyawan pa ako ng mga lokong to. masaya ako nakasama ko kayo. kahit pahirap kayo sa buhay ko. mga tangina kayo! mamimiss ko kayo! lalo na ung mga bugok kong kainuman at kakulitan. masaya at malungkot na karanasan nandito na. pero di ko ipagpapalit yon. mga magdamagang inuman, mga murahang kwentuhan, mga lasing na usapan, kainang umuusok. walang patid na asaran. tumibay talaga sikmura ko sa inyo. hanggang ngayon pinagmamalaki ko kayo. mahal ko kayo. galit ako sa inyo. mamimiss ko kayo.
ac, ging, lanchie, sheva, ryan, aina, kaye, tonee, momi liezl, dadee rolly, anne, ruby,lajoel, mel, rio, caloi... tangina ayusin nio buhay nio ha! wag na wag kong mababalitaan na nagbabagong buhay na kayo at di na kayo umiinom at humihithit! taena! oy dennis! wala lang. jeff at rj! galing nio sa quickbooks!

to team archer!
what can i say! the best non bonded/bonded team ever! wahahha! issue galore and kona! awol and buddy system! cake!!! and all those 6 hour long calls, r.a. and a lot of OT's. first team ever . kahit na lagi tayong may struggle sa stats natin okey lang. basta masaya tayo. kay boss faith... na para sakin magalit na lahat! wala akong pake! ang PINAKAMAGANDANG TL sa INTUIT sa ETEL pala! boss! mamimiss kita! seryosong makulit ka kasi! kay ian, na pinaiyak si anna at pinaiyak ng lahat, lalo na ng pinakaba ka namin sa awol issue. IKAW PA RIN ANG THE BEST SME ng INTUIT-CORE! idol! kay quin, dong, diane, ron, roms, ana, kayong wave 6 ha! wala lang. saya nio... kahit na malabo tayo sa una, masaya naman tayong nagtapos.

to team vhin:
eto ang pinaka tragic sa lahat! magbenta daw ba! sori tl ha, from the top naging bottom team ka sa reg queue, pero swerte mo! nakilala mo kami! wahahaha! kahit na half ng shift ko naka coaching ako! pero dahil sayo tl, napunta ako sa pinaka-na-the-best-pa! ng LOB sa intuit, ang cs. kung di dahil sayo di ako mapupunta dun. tsaka kay jec, kahit lagi kang tulog pag lunch time! wahahaha!! tinutulong mo kami!
kay nicky, marthee, joy at sherwin, dyan lang kayo... do what you guys do best!

teka san na ba? ah sa the best team ever. at best LOB ever.

wag muna. di muna ako magmemessage senyo. baka maiyak kayo.

....

100 questions

2008-02-25T14:30:00.003+08:00

akala ko di na nagpost to. well okey lang. atleast diba. masaya to.
naalala ko ang mga kagaguhan ko nung college habang brinabrowse ko ung luma/bago/matagal/recent/present kong blog sa lj. if you want to check it, ito sya http://dahliasatea.livejournal.com, i love this entry wehehehe, reminds me of .... secret. wag na lang. napatext tuloy ako sa mga kaibigan ko bigla!

Today Did You-
-------------------
1. Talk to a boy/girl you like ?
> nope
2. Learn anything new?
> greek

3.Talked to an ex?
> nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo

4.Miss someone?
> yeah. mi abuelo

last person who
---------------------

5. Laid in your bed?
> akoooo lang

6. Made you cry?
> ang lolo ko sa panaginip

7. You went to the movies with?
> wala, di pa ako nakakapasok sa sinehan mula hayskul

8. Went to the mall with you?
> di ako umalis sa bahay

9. You showered with?
> ako lang siempre!!!

10. Made you laugh?
> mi nanay!

11. Hugged you?
> mi tatay!!

-General stuff-
-------------------

16. Favorite location?
> sa harap ng t.v at kompyuter

17.Tattoo?
> pag 25 na ko!

18. What are you most scared of this
second ?
> ma diskonek sa internet

19. Where do you want to get married?
> sa chapel sa subic

21. Does anyone like you?
> ewan

22. Do you like being around people?
> ung gusto kong tao lang.

23.Have you ever cried?
> siempre!

24. Are you lonely right now?
> nope!

25. Song stuck in your head?
> stitches and burns

26. Been on radio/TV?
> yes! yes! yes!!

28. Ever liked someone who treated you
like crap?
> nope! i treated them lyk crap too!!!

30. what color shirt are you wearing
right now?
> White

31. Name three things that you do every
day?
> take a long baaaaaaaaattttttthhhhhhh
> watch tv
> surf the net

32. How much cash do you have on you
right now?
> 1,200

33. Are you bored?
> di rin

35. Who got you to join Myspace?
> mah cousin

38. What web site do you visit the
most?
> my blog, multiply, perezhilton

39. Do you have plants in your room?
> none

41. Who was the last person who hugged
you?
> si kuya kakayakap lang nia ngayon eh.

-SECRETS-
---------------------

1.WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT?
> d character from my story

2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE
TAKEN?
> sa dorm

4.WHAT'S YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP
STATUS?
> senggel

5. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL
YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN?
> yeah...

6. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
> crap but happy

7. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION?
> my black heart watch

8. HOW ARE THINGS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
> no relaccion!

10. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, AND
CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD YOU?
> yeah i goddamn do!

11. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE
DAY- WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
> a hump back whale

12. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE?
> yeah

13 NAME SOMEONE WITH THE SAME B-DAY
AS YOU?
> cerahville!

HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A
LARGE AUDIENCE?
> yeah.

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE
ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX ?
- the jawline!

WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM
STARBUCKS?
- mochacaramel frappe

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DRUNKEN WEEK?
> wala! i pee lyk crazy while drinking

DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR
TV SHOWS?
> i'll never outgrow kiddie films

NAME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU
TODAY?
> mani and pedi

DO YOU SPEAK ANY OTHER LANGUAGE?
> some spanish, basic turkish, italian, french, and learning greek

IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW?
> wala naman

WHAT HURTS YOU AT THE MOMENT?
> my back

*** nga pala pag di ako nakapag update dito ibig sabihin nandito ako sa http://kulaypapel.blogspot.com

across the universe - a coño entry

2008-02-22T15:24:00.007+08:00

i hate the sunlight
it stings my eyes
i hate the mornings
its so hot and noisy
i hate lunch hour
places are fool of people
dining and whining and chatting
i hate the day.
so not the night...
- musings of a call center worker

na inlove ka na ba... sa isang pelikula?
ako oo. napaka ganda nia. napakaganda. iba to. nakakamangha. walang sikat na artista, walang kiyeme sa salita, walang halong kabulastugan. walang pasintabi...

ang ganda nia. panoorin nio, di man ako sikat na kritiko, kakaiba man ang taste ko, sa tingin ko lahat ng tao maggugustuhan to.

lalo na ung fan ng beatles. ive always said that i was born on the wrong music era. isa pang patunay.

lahat ng kanta ng beatles, ay isinapelikula! kuhang kuha! damang dama!

love across the universe. bow...
i humbly present myself to thee...

* i dont know how many times i've watched this movie, i stopped counting when i reached 10, yet it never fails to amaze me...
this is one of those movies that you wont feel bad when you buy the original dvd, its worth every penny

chunky chunky clunky clunky

everything is PINK!

2008-02-16T23:43:00.006+08:00

i love love pink! well next to red... but since im a girl, pink is a definite color for a GIRL.. and i just found this cutie cutie pink gadgets! im so in love with pink right now!

here it is:

im specially loving the pink vaio! save save save!

+++

was reading my PAST blog entries. and been reading "some"

nakakamiss ang iyong kwento
nakakamiss ang iyong kaaliwan
nakakamiss ang iyong paniwala

in short, namimiss na kita!

TANGA! MAGPAKITA KA!! WAG KANG TEXT LANG NG TEXT!

chamba habit

2008-02-10T20:40:00.000+08:00

i swore off koreanovelas when i got addicted to Endless Love... now, im eating whatever it was that i spat out because i just cant get enough of coffee prince!
to the point of downloading every freaking episode on my pc.
shet.

i dont want to elaborate on the plot. im still on a massive hang over from the last episode i watched.
shet.

ang cute cute ni hanjie!!! ang ganda ganda ni encan! whahaha!

tae!

tae

2008-01-28T08:33:00.000+08:00

the end is near
5 days to go mga tsong hiwahiwalay na...
sa tingin ko ang pinakapinanghihinayangan natin eh hindi yung mismong program eh, we couldnt care less about the damn thing, ung samahan ang mahalaga. un talaga. kahit ako galit sa pesteng pangyayari na to. sayang. 3 months to mga tsong... 3 months pinakamatagal kong team to. at pinakamasaya.

mamimiss ko to:

yes, this is how the world works... yes, we may be naive... because no amount of explaination can dispel whatever that is we are feeling right now. no amount.

i'll miss the laugh.love.life.and complaints. camaraderie.