im seeing neon pink sunshine!

wow! that brightened up my day!

we had an adventure.
lemme tell ya...

this is what happened, we got off on our shift at 4 am. freakin cold and wet from the rain, walked a couple of feet to get to our house and fished my stuff, went back to eastwood, rode a taxi and went to cubao. oh by the way, we saw ac on the way to eastwood. okey back to the story, so we rode a taxi... damn the taxi!! smelled like rotting feet!!! and so we arrived at cubao, we wanted to eat mami so we walked like four blocks just to eat at chowking, but needless to say we didn't get to eat at chowking instead we went back to victory liner and ate tapsi and longsi at 7-11, while we waited for aian to arrive.

we sat at the back propped our feet up because we're like 10 passengers on a 52 seater bus, laughed and joked around till we got to gapo.

when we got to gapo, ging's bro cal, picked us up with his brand new evolution car, the one that was used by paul walker in too fast too furious! damn that ride!!!

then when i got home, i slept.

couldn't tell you much of the details because it would bore you out, and yes, most of it are confidential.

caredead busted

ahahaha... im caredead.

but you're not.

im pretty stoked that i've finally let you go... well there's nothing much for me to hold on to from YOU. you've pretty much handled everything. i found out, its not my fault but yours. i've tried everything in my power to keep it, but you deliberatly pushed me away. so not my lost. yours.

and all's well that ends well.

im closing this chapter in my life, where YOU were a part of, BIG TIME. im not saying that you'll never be a part of my life, you still are, but with a minor role. a curtain puller or something.

being caredead is fun. because as jade said, "you and me are wonderfully poker faced"

ahaha.

-shit happens-

too early too late

i don't wanna wait for our lives to be over
- paola cole

i think its irreversible, what happened between us is beyond repair. what happened to us anyway? one minute we we're happily chugging and next here we are. ignoring each other, only managing a little hi or hello around the corner. fuck... it's too early, it's not even a month... fuck this.

i'll stop now. i can't do anything about it anymore.

being ilang

never have i imagined i would be this ilang with him. no more staring at each other's eyes while talking, no more hugs left to be cherished, no more feeling of that grade-school like giddy upon hearing his voice, no more the unexpected affection towards my well-being. no more.

im in a point where too much of being a girl is really too much. and its fucking wrong.

how i wish i could turn back time and chose not to have met him, not even mentioning his name, not looking at him. not having the same melancholic smile like his. he is addictive. an aphrodisiac waiting for me to savor then again leaving my mouth with bitter spikes of truth and lies. he is my waterloo and my strength. but at this time, i chose to see him as a pungent arsenal of unending decay of rotting flesh.

and i am slowly pulling myself up.

how long is too long...

a lot has happened to me since i last blogged. i got work, been dedicated to it, fell in love with it, fell out of love with it, and regain it's trust again. i've lost pseudofriends in the process aswell. i've gained new love and lost it, felt that irresistible urge to curse and spit at someone's face but held back and matured. missed a lot of birthdays and dinners with friends, missed a lot of the good movies shown in the big screen, (i.e the simpsons) and lost touched with what i really want and need.

its one big vortex of doom that i've been sucked into, with puzzle pieces waiting for me to discover to have as my key to end the agony of being a shit.

a shit. that's what they think of me, a shit. if being smart is being a shit then i am a shit. if speaking your mind is being a shit then im the biggest shit. if caring for someone honestly close to your heart and mistaken for being plastic then i am the biggest shit in the universe.

i won't change and never will. if you can't accept that then fine by me, i tried to get along, felt free of it all and end up being a shitbat crazy ass bitch then go ahead. go get along your way. i won't pretend im okey anymore, i wont pretend im cool.

people are rare beings. and i am one of those rare gems you find when you search in the mud. because i am covered with muck and grime, the only way to find me is to pick me up and accept that a stone is a gem, not a gem to begin with.