definitely a nightmare.

funny story.

ni hindi ko man lang iniisip ang taong ito nung patulog na ko or ever! promise!! and yet maxadong madrama ang panaginip ko sa kanya. mga tipong maalaala mo kaya na parang romeo and juliet. nakakatawa. pag gising ko nga kanina, tawa ako ng tawa. ahahaha.

ito na yung pinakagist ng story ayoko ng i-elaborate kasi, baka mabisto nio kung sino sya. di ko kakayanin ang panunukso if ever.

YOU GUYS know him. pwera yung mga college dabarkads ko...

eto:

setting: secret, madalas tayo dun. basta gabi sya, tapos pauwi na ko. and he showed up.

characters: ako, my dad, at sya, itago na lang natin sa pangalang SCAR

parang eto na nga, pinupursue na nia ang lola mo, tapos syempre ang lola mo winner ang feeling, so ito na, uuwi daw ako ng gapo, then sinundo ako! aba ihahatid daw ako sa bahay, para makilala ang familia du juor. (natatawa talaga ako habang tinataype ko to) yun na, and then nakita sya ni dad. hindi sya type. so ako, mega tanggol naman sa lolo mo! aba, ang ginawa ni Ama, ay kinausap, niligaw sa gapo at ayun, di ko na nakita. aba, mega crayola naman daw ako!!! grabe! as in! di ko kinaya. nag away pa raw kami ni ama, na mega sinagot sagot ko raw ang everything. ayun, pagbalik ko ng manila nagsolo na raw ako, pero di na raw ako kinausap or pinuntahan pa ni Scar... iyak daw ako ng iyak... grabe.

yan ang gist.

medyo barubal yung storia pero pag inelaborate ko kasi mahuhulaan nio talaga! at nakakahiya. naloka nga ako pag gising ko, ni hindi ko sya iniisip, di ko na sya naaalala pero MAY GAWD!!! ANG HEIGHT NG EMOSYON!!!

nakakatawa talaga.

cue music: tut-tururururut tut tut tut turururut

impulses and emotions

im thinking of something witty to write hear or something to talk about... but i got zilch.

my mind is on a constant roll of the emails i've answered, and my brain cells are fried to a pulp from over exposure to computer and tv radiation. i've managed to rescue my hearing as i quit plugging my ears with my ipod. last week and this week is a stressful week. and im so stressed already so im not gonna blog about it.

and guess what i received when i turned on my cp:

"honey, how's your day??"

i know your being sweet and all and you just wanted to know how my day went and your worried.

but honey, when my day is one ginormous CRAP i cannot appreciate any kindness or sweetness or rainbows and butterflies sent to me. no matter how sweet and cuddly or whatever words needed to describe that loving way is, i cannot take it.

so sorry. really i mean it. im sorry for always acting so crappy. im sorry if i cant appreciate the little things. im sorry if i cant give enough time for us. im sorry if im not posting our pictures or still claiming im single in facebook and friendster.

look at what we've become

i've been chatting with my college buddies trhu facebook. been rekindling some college barkada chismis and antics as well. medyo nawala kasi ako sa sirkulasyon. actually laging nangyayari un sakin. focus ko kasi work eh.

so via facebook ive been hearing that not everyone turned up to be a big shot journalist like everyone dreamed of. dun ko rin narealise na napaka idealic naman ng college for us, especially for me. college is supposed to teach me the rounds of the dog eat dog world but hell!!! wala rin pala. its still a comfort zone.

some of them, who i believe will turn out to be one hell of a journalist are now in cc. just like me. yung iba naman, eventhough they're living the journalistic dream wants to be in cc.

for example my friend lee. i would kill to get a chance to apply in abs, he's already in that zone. he just need to prove himself. and he's one good writer too.
kaya lang he's thinking of applying in a cc. kasi nga ang baba ng pay.

mjeff. one hell of a writer. i can totally see her writing for the literary section of PDI. then she's teaching korean kids to speak english.

doing what you love doesnt always equate in making you happy.

ive been contemplating about how would i feel when i pursue my journalism career.

would i absolutely love it?

would i be so happy and contented?

i dont think so. siguro kung solong katawan lang ako... na hindi ko sinusuportahan ang pamilya ko. maatim kong mag sulat for a living. ok lang sakin na 12k starting ko or 10k. basta im writing.

pero hindi eh. i need money. i need to save money. i need to give money. i need money to survive.

akala ko talaga, im such a loser for not pursuing a journalistic career. im such a loser kasi wala akong nababalitaan na batchmate kong nag end up sa cc but me.

but then eto na, i know the truth.

napaisip na rin ako eh, buti nang ganito. di ko man pinag aralan to, atleast binubuhay ako.

hindi na praktikal na ipilit mo na ang pinag aralan mo ang makuha mong trabaho. hindi rin naman masama yun. pero sa sitwasyon natin ngayon, di talaga advisable. mahirap ang buhay ngayon. kailangan natin ng pera.

saka ko na siguro iisipin ang pagsusulat. pag nakapag ipon na ako ng malaki laki. na hindi ako nahihirapang hugutin ang pera kung saan.

or...

mag asawa na lang ako ng bilyonaryo na may stocks sa isang broadcasting company at magdemand na gawan ako ng sarili kong show or magazine! ahahahahaha!!!

wish ko lang.