overwhelming

This overwhelming feeling swallowed me last friday. I dunno why I let myself be victimized by this annoying feeling. It consumed me for the greater part of thursday and friday. My twitter account is a testament to that. Maybe i should stop fighting with myself. Really, its unhealthy and it only brings out nothing but negative delusions and emotions that should never be there.

I should look into the brighter side of things, it hasnt mentioned and done something that would make me question about everything for the past months... I think thats a good sign... is it?

I just cant do another painful year. I just cant. my walls are slowly crumbling and i kept on putting cement on every crack, trying to fill out the voids that i know if i let it be, would be catastrophic for me...

i just want to stop.

wedding jitters

the reason why i dont have anything to blog about is because everything on my plate right now is all about relationship status. and frankly, i am tired of it, over it and done with it.  and unlike MO Twister, im not going to record my emotions and hearts on any form of media for the whole goddamn world to see. even if the whole goddamn world does not care about me. because what i feel right this moment, is a ginormous piece of crap that i would not like to revisit when im a cranky old lady.

anyhoo... my friend ica will finally get hitched by her high school/college bf paul!! woo hoo!! im suppose to be one of the host for their wedding, well i still am... hehehe... im mostly afraid that my FULL BLOWN JOLOGS mode will be on full blast! ahahhaha!!

and i havent even started buying gifts for them  and they will be getting married on saturday! good job me! atleast i bought a dress to wear to their wedding, and may also add that i dont know where the fuck is?! i mean i know its in the far away kingdom of Antipolo, i could always take a cab to go there but hell!! how will i go home? what if it ends way past midnight?!! aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!! the horror! chos!

cinderella lang ang peg ko! PAK!

ahahaha! ill just cross the bridge when i freaking get there, im resourceful, always have. i will survive this. its a freaking wedding, and its not even mine so shouldnt freak out like an OC OC bridezilla!

ahahaha!!

weddings... aahhhh never good with weddings. although... i can always picture myself getting married and having a ceremony.

never really wanted a big wedding, whether i can afford it or not, i always wanted to have a small wedding. with a max of 50 guest. thats it. 25 for me, 25 for my unlucky groom... sorry future groomy (whoever you are) your future wife doesnt like people and crowd! bleeeehhhh!!