emo trip is shit

I dont know why im getting emotional/sentimental more and more everyday. i dont think it comes with the friends coz they make me happy... special someone perhaps?? i dont know. i know he's special... there must be something in the air. the weird thing about this is, its not even february (technically the love month.) i think my heart is on permanent 'crushed mode'. It feels like its always broken. if i get an x-ray, i think it would look EXACTLY like this. i need to have a working heart you know.

but i think this emo trip will pass. i think this is all due to the fact that i watch a lot of sappy movies/shows. i've been catching up on tagalog movies all of a sudden, like the movie One More Chance. Its like the best love story movie of all the freaking time. It made a benchmark on my category of movies. its never a good love story unless it tramps One More Chance. SERIOUSLY. what movie do you get lines like these:

"mahal na mahal kita, kahit ang sakit sakit na..." -AWTS!

"she loved me at my worst, you had me at my best yet you chose to break my heart.." -AWTS again!

"kagustuhan ko naman ito di ba? bakit ako ang nasasaktan ng sobra,a lam mo lagi ko pa ding sinasabi sana ako, sana ako nalang, sana ako nalang ulit.." - SUPER AWTS

finally!

i miss the blogging world! i felt a sudden jolt of excitement! i am now internet-enabled! at ang globe ang enabler ko! LOL!

so much has happened to me these months, and i cant even begin where to start. To say the least, career-wise ive grown, from a lowly agent to a cooltastic trainer. Honestly, i never imagined myself as a trainer, or as an educator for that matter. i was always a chatter but ive never had the patience to actually teach stuff to people. Up to now, i dont know where im getting my patience from... must be divine intervention. or im getting older and i have more understanding of things?? either way, i love it. and im actually enjoying it.

emotionally... im trying to be stable. trying to cope. trying... trying... trying... there are times when i think that this is my karma for being such a bee-atch! suffer the life of singledom! LOL! its just that, im afraid to actually fall again. because God knows how miserable i felt my heart got broken. so if you, however you are out there, who actually feels some love for me, can you take it slow? please act out if you're 10000000000000000% sure. i cant bear another heartache. i'll simply die.

till next time!

of birthdays and wishes

my birthday is not as uneventful as i thought it would be.

woke up twice to Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles, that's why its my b-day song. we went to manaoag to attend mass early in the morning, which was good.

got the copy of Stella Mag and saw myself. whoa.. i'll stop there.

i got a call from hu-hom. its kindda kilig but still no. never again.

i got a txt from my crush... ahahaha! tawa ako ng tawa nung nabasa ako! akin na lang yung text, di ko na ishishare. basta nakakaloka sya.

namili na naman ako ng sapatos. tingin ko talaga malala na problema ko sa sapatos eh. kakabili ko lang last week eh. wala na akong malagyan sa bahay, ubos na ung shoebox keeper space ko! di ko naman maipamigay dahil 10 ang shoe size ko at puro heels ito. ahahaha! girl. di ko naman mapahiram sa kapaid ko kasi s8 lang ang shoe size nia. tapos nagbabalak pa akong bumili next week.... aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ilayo nio ko sa mall!!!!! lilipat na ako ng bahay, ung malayo sa eatswood!!! wahahahaha!!!

may problema rin ako sa mga dresses eh. di ko rin maitigilan. wala na akong closet space. kakainis.

iisa lang talaga ang naiisip kong solution.

MAGPAGAWA NG MAS MALAKING CLOSET SPACE!!!! ahahahaha!!

thank you po sa bday greetings.

nakuha ko na ang 1 out of 3 bday wish ko!!!

still waiting for the next two.

crossing my fingers.

and of course! thank you family and friends for the greetings and wishes!! love you all!!!

news of my old world.

ahum. well, i'll try blogging from work now. just now.

i manage to squeeze a little petiks time at work and read my past journals. most of the blogs/rants/raves are from my years in college- way back 2 years ago.

medyo naculture shock lang ako sa mga nabasa ko. na gaing mismo sa utak ko. weird diba? anyways, i was reading the part of i think im on my freshmen year. I thought all this time my freshman year was the bomb. i always remember it as full of fun and childish candor. i wasnt expecting the 'bombs' i read. akala ko all fun ako nun. the people are great, the setting, the idea everything. pero di pala. maraming ka-shit-an din pala nangyari. and most of the people i've known in frehsman year dont even talk to me. they're not even my facebook friends. ahaha!

sophomore year?! dont even get me started. i think my mind totally blacked out during sophomore year. i dont even remember my most enjoyable time, much more the shittiest.

junior year was anything but. its like the scar of my whole college life. the subjects are the hardest. the people are insane! but it turned out the start of a new beginning.

senior year. i'll discuss that in a different era.

all in all, i cant evenr ecognise myself in college. i wanted to say na sobrang nagmature na ko. pero parang hindi pa rin. i think the only thing that change in my life big time are prioritise. my prios are way off now. now my prios are:

paying for the house
investing on a lot
pimping the car
saving for my future
my sis' college tuitions
and other work related stuff (which will bore you out)

i can't even see my friends on a weekend. my life is so grown up.
buti na lang nagkaron ng reunion. thanks sa fb. reunion part 1 and 2! na nasundan pa ng maraming inuman session. the reunion mad eme think na, namimiss ko pala ang mga taong to. mga kaklase ko sila since kinder days pa!

isa pang realisation. napakababaw ko pala nun. feeling ko ang galing galing ko. feeling ko ang lalim kong mag isip. shallow pala ako nun. narelaise ko rin na TH ako nun, papa-impress ako sa mga prof kong ang tataas ng lipad sa literary and philo world. di ako bagay sa mundo nila. wala akong alam.
hanggang nagyon nga di ko pa rin maxado gets yung concept ni nietsczhe eh. tama ba spelling?

ngayon ko lang talaga naisip na ang hirap pala, pag hawak mo na ang buhay mo. kapag napigtas na ang tali mo sa magulang mo at ikaw na ang humihila ng direksyon ng pelikula mo. at dahil rin sigurong wala akong pwedeng sisihin sa mga desisyon ko, kundi ako.

sana kahit 1 araw lang magin 10 years old ako ulit. o kaya sanggol. para mas appreciate ko kung ano at sino ako noon.

will blog again.

well hello there! naadik ako sa facebook at sira ang pc ko kaya hindi ako nakakapag-blog. well i will blog siguro next next week na!