challenge accepted.

i am forever grateful to the continuous blessing that God has given me.

I still feel though that i do not deserve it. i feel that i would fail. i also feel ashamed about it because i know other people are more deserving than i am. no matter how many people would say that i deserve it and its been a long time coming and its about time, i dont feel that way.

i know there are a lot of struggles that the team is facing right now, morale is low, nte's here and there, demotions for others, and i feel that this promotion is a slap to their faces.

thats the reason why i never announced it. i never told anyone, but my parents and a few close friends. i never told anyone because i dont think i deserve it. and im embarassed by it. and the fact that this was offered and i never applied/asked for this... is daunting. what if i fail? what if i create more problems than solutions?! what if im a bad choice? what if what if what if...

there is never a day that i question myself, why me? im just doing my job. why not jaypee? he already has the experience, why not just choose him. im more effective with the workload that i have right now. besides, we're one trainer short, you could've used me for that.

the 'why me' part has been answered by so many people already. and it feels nice that the people you work with trusts you and believes in you and are impressed by your work that they offer you the position.
but its still scary. it will always be scary i suppose. every venture you move into will always be the unknown.

But I know i cannot be scared forever. I have to face this, I want to be promoted, I want to move up. But not right away, not this time, i always say... but when IS the TIME?? when??

i guess, time answered my question.

I've accepted the post, and ive accepted that i cannot do anything about it. And i have to be BRAVE for this. I have to be. Or else, i'll be stuck at the safe zone.

So its CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Thank you for the people who believes in me and tells me things that makes my head swell. I will do this.