the trouble with trust is...

some say people comes and goes as they please in your life. but in my life, people go when i dont trust them anymore.

because i have trust issues.

i wasnt like this before, i was actually inviting and trusting. my issue stemmed from that broken heart years ago. ive learned to forgive and forget the person but i never really get around to trust people that easily anymore. i suppose if you got burned pretty bad you'd be scared to even feel warmth.

i had friends falling off the grid and people not being able to enter my life because of my issue. just recently i had a sorta falling out with a friend. we remained friends however, its never the same.

its not the "hey fucker whatcha doin" friend anymore its more of a "see on the lift and a simple hey would be enough and then go on your merry way" kindda friend.

i would like for it to change back to the way we were but, i cant seem to do it. it doesnt even feel awkward for me not to talk to him anymore, although i do miss the psycho babble shit we do and coffees and breakfast. but thats it. that's just about it. i dont think about it anymore. and come to think of it, its because i dont trust him anymore. i dont trust him enough to actually go out of my way to make him feel welcome in my world anymore. (not being a mega galactic bitch who acts out of self entitlement here)

its not easy for me to trust. and i dont trust you my friend, anymore.

its a shame though, we could've been a will and grace combo.