never have i imagined i would be this ilang with him. no more staring at each other's eyes while talking, no more hugs left to be cherished, no more feeling of that grade-school like giddy upon hearing his voice, no more the unexpected affection towards my well-being. no more.
im in a point where too much of being a girl is really too much. and its fucking wrong.
how i wish i could turn back time and chose not to have met him, not even mentioning his name, not looking at him. not having the same melancholic smile like his. he is addictive. an aphrodisiac waiting for me to savor then again leaving my mouth with bitter spikes of truth and lies. he is my waterloo and my strength. but at this time, i chose to see him as a pungent arsenal of unending decay of rotting flesh.
and i am slowly pulling myself up.
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