8.13.2007

how long is too long...

a lot has happened to me since i last blogged. i got work, been dedicated to it, fell in love with it, fell out of love with it, and regain it's trust again. i've lost pseudofriends in the process aswell. i've gained new love and lost it, felt that irresistible urge to curse and spit at someone's face but held back and matured. missed a lot of birthdays and dinners with friends, missed a lot of the good movies shown in the big screen, (i.e the simpsons) and lost touched with what i really want and need.

its one big vortex of doom that i've been sucked into, with puzzle pieces waiting for me to discover to have as my key to end the agony of being a shit.

a shit. that's what they think of me, a shit. if being smart is being a shit then i am a shit. if speaking your mind is being a shit then im the biggest shit. if caring for someone honestly close to your heart and mistaken for being plastic then i am the biggest shit in the universe.

i won't change and never will. if you can't accept that then fine by me, i tried to get along, felt free of it all and end up being a shitbat crazy ass bitch then go ahead. go get along your way. i won't pretend im okey anymore, i wont pretend im cool.

people are rare beings. and i am one of those rare gems you find when you search in the mud. because i am covered with muck and grime, the only way to find me is to pick me up and accept that a stone is a gem, not a gem to begin with.

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