you got you.

Despite how many quiz ive answered, how many birthday's i non-celebrate, despite how many years i let pass me by, i am, still forever will be a 12 year old kid by heart. let me digress -- i did not conduct any scientific study or enlist the help of a great psychoanalyst/psychologist. i dont need to. who else know YOu but YOU YOURSELF. no other people need to delve into my whole being but me.

i found out and admitted it to my self last night, that i am a twelve tear old, despite my appearance and surely my real age. i remember when i was twelve, cartoons/animes were the center of my life. junkfood was my drugs, and i totally shut off people when im at home. and i dont need/want a cp when i was 12. all i need is the tv. shiny happy people disgust me, but im certainly no emo-punk-goth. im normal, i just dont like all that giddiness. the only food i ate was laced with chilis. any chilis. and i refuse to yet anything else. i get what i want and i never have to ask twice. i get to stay in my room withoput anyone bothering me, when i want someone out, he/she will be out.

so, i turned off my phone, grabbed my snacks and watched dvd's of (which i havent finished yet bytheway). i locked the door to my room, to prevent those who tried to come in, put the ac in full blast and did not see the sun for 3 straight days. i dont ever go out. no im not a vampire(though i dont like garlic), i just dont like it when im all sweaty.

the point is, at my age, i feel like im still a kid. a KID. i couldnt careless of what the world thinks, or what the outside would be like, all i cared about is me, whether i have enough time to finish all my dvd's whether i'll ran out of snacks or not...

for once i never felt like an adult. i didnt worry about my job, reports, bosses, money, people, rent, utilities. for once i am free of that burden. for once i shut that part of my world and focused on me. JUST ME. and you know what, no matter how serious the nxt day would be for me, im revitalize. im new, im fresh. because i focused on me. my center was me. i guess this is what it feels like if you found your center during yoga.

you got you.